Why Should Children Not Be Interviewed

Are they applying for a job? If the answer is NO then why should we interview them?

In fact parents should be interviewing the school to find out whether the school will be suitable for their child.

Does this kind of interviewing harm children?

Yes it does.

First it creates a stress in the parent, the stress of ‘performance’ that my child must not fail. And so in their anxiety parents end up putting undue pressure on the child, start getting irritated with the child, get tense, worried and end up completely ‘anxiety ridden’

Having an adult in this frame of mind especially an adult that is your mother or father can cause undue damage to the child’s emotional development and brain development. It can also harm the child’s social development.

Let’s understand the emotional damage-

So what are the emotional development stages or growth that a preschooler goes through?

AGE	STAGE	STRENGTH DEVELOPED
0 TO 1 YEARS	TRUST V/S MISTRUST	HOPE
2 TO 3 YEARS	AUTONOMY V/S SHAME AND DOUBT	WILL POWER
4 TO 5 YEARS	INITIATIVE V/S GUILT	PURPOSE
6 TO 12 YEARS	INDUSTRY V/S INFERIORITY	COMPETENCE

As you can see above, most children of the age from 2 to 6 years are being interviewed and that is the age when hope, willpower, purpose and confidence are developed in the child.

So when you interview a 2 to 3 year old and the child  is unable to answer, he/she develops a sense of shame and doubt about his/her  own abilities, and  you end up hurting the child’s self worth for life

When you interview a 4 to 5 year old and the child is unable to answer he/she  develops a sense of guilt that ‘I let my parents down and I am worthless’,  and so this child will never take initiatives in life

When you interview a 6 years and above child and if the child is unable to answer he/she develops an inferiority complex and zero self worth.

How else does interviewing harm children?-

It makes the children scared, nervous, frightened, terrified, and edgy, all these are negative emotions and negative emotions bring to fore the ‘fight or flight’ tendency of the brain. So either the child feels like hiding behind the parent, or bawls his/her head off, or acts aggressive and throws a tantrum

Negative emotions also release ‘bad chemicals’ in the brain which affect learning and memory.

This kind of unnerving experience also leaves a long lasting wound on the child’s personality and the child can get scared of meeting strangers, or learn to avoid going to places with the parent.

In many children the whole experience leads to nail biting, tantrums, upset tummy, fever and bed wetting. Nail biting and bed wetting are vicious cycles, once entered into can cause a long term burden on the child.

After Reading all the above should children be interviewed?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Here is a quote-

Sam Meisels (HEAD START PROGRAM) offers these tips-

   

·       Young children should never be challenged during assessments by being separated from their parents or familiar caregivers.

·        An unfamiliar examiner should never assess young children.

·    Assessments that are limited to areas that are easily measurable, such as certain motor or cognitive skills should not be considered complete.

·         Formal tests or tools should not be the cornerstone of an assessment of an infant or young child.

LETS JOIN HANDS AND BANISH ‘INTERVIEWS’ FROM THE LIVES OF PRESCHOOLERS, LETS INSTEAD START INTERVIEWING THE PEOPLE WHO ‘INTERVIEW’ KIDS, LETS FIND OUT WHY THEY DO IT. LETS WORK FOR HEALTHY PRECHOOL EDUCATION IN INDIA.

DO JOIN US ON eca-india.org 

Anxiety in Children

Anxiety means to be anxious about something, severe, regular anxiety can lead to stress and prolonged stress can lead to depression and other problems. There are three broad stages in a child’s life (Rudolf Steiner) infancy, childhood and adolescence. So let see how each stage is affected by anxiety and stress.

In infancy the first anxiety that children exhibit is ‘separation anxiety’ and that manifests itself when ‘object permanence’ sets in at the age of 6 to 9 months. This is when the child realizes that the toy you hide and he cannot see is still out there somewhere and now the child is anxious to find it. Separation anxiety is the most important cause of ‘settling issues’ in playschools. Children do not want to be separated from the caregiver (mother, father) as they are unsure of where they will be and whether they will come back. So both the teacher and the parent have to play a joint role is reducing this separation anxiety, mother by talking positively to the child about the school and the teacher, telling the child where she will be after she drops the child at school and then being on time to pick up the child. And the teacher to support the child by sticking to a known routine and keeping the child interested and reassured. (Check Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, safety and security is the second need before the child can concentrate or learn).

As child enters primary school or the childhood year’s anxiety is about the unknown, about bullies and about belonging as social development has just set in. Infact the childhood years are about socialization as they have just emerged from the ‘I, me, myself’ phase and entered the group play stage. So suddenly friends become important. Preparing children for what comes next, giving them breathing transitions, listening to them all helps reduce anxiety in these children. School can help by keeping things common for all kids as comparison is high during this stage. So common uniforms, bags, bottles, shoes all help bring about uniformity and help them belong. Tests are another thing that worries these kids as winning and losing is important to them. It helps if tests (dictation, oral tests, and exams) are completed in the early half of the school day as it helps them focus on learning once the anxiety is removed. Bullying is very common and a common reason for school anxiety, it helps if school and home teach kids about conflict resolution and talk the same language. Otherwise home may teach child to go and hit the bully and school may teach him to ignore the bully and child is now anxious about whom to listen to. Self esteem needs to be nurtured at this stage so ridicule, sarcasm, punishments are all detrimental to the growing self image and may put the child on a vicious cycle of punishment- retaliation-misbehavior-punishment.

In the adolescent years anxiety is due to peer pressure (another form of bullying, here it is bullying to fit in) self image, succeeding, scoring points in the social group. They have loads of secrets and hate to be spied on; half the anxiety is about holding on to their own and friends secrets. Anxiety for them sometimes also works like adrenalin so they thrive on risks and risk taking. Parental pressure to succeed, schools inability to guide at the right time and ‘fitting in’ to their social circle’s idea of ‘success’ all send the anxiety and stress levels for a toss in this age group. Incorrect diet (junk food, less water, more coffee, dieting) only enhances the inability of their body to handle stress.

What can schools do about anxiety and stress in children-

1. Teachers to have knowledge about child psychology, child development, emotional development and brain research, it’s time to stop putting the blame on B.Ed colleges and schools should themselves equip their teachers with training and workshops on understanding and recognizing anxiety and stress in children

2. Knowledge about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs does help a teacher as it clearly shows the requirements in an individual before any kind of focus, attention and learning can take place.

3. Teachers need to work on knowing their students, their temperaments, their home atmosphere as anxiety is related to Insecure attachment between mother and child may be a risk factor for the development of anxiety disorder in childhood (Bernstein, Borchardt, & Perwein, 1996).Shared environmental influences are thought to play a greater role in the development of separation anxiety and specific phobias, implicating a role of parental and family factors (e.g., Eley et al., 2003; Muris & Merckelbach, 2001).

4. Ability to handle anxiety depends on ones temperament (Rudolf Steiner- children’s temperaments- Sanguine, Melancholic, Phlegmatic and Choleric) so teachers to handle and interact with kids as per their temperament and not use a ‘one size fits all’ technique.

5. Anxiety and stress in kids can lead to learning problems and behavioral issues, so here teachers to use the Anne Copley method of a dynamic structure called the Learning Zone Model, four behavioral zones in which students and teachers operate:

• The Safe Zone: where students feel a sense of safety, self-worth and physical and emotional security.
• The Learning Zone: where students are challenged but at the same time      supported to learn.
• The Anxiety Zone: where students begin to experience negative stress about the learning experience, and low-level misbehavior happens.
• The Stress Zone: where students react in the classroom, are violent or uncontrollably abusive.

6. Knowledge of brain research is a must if a teacher wants to understand about anxiety and help in stemming it before it reaches a stressful level. Brain based training facts as this knowledge is extremely important in handling agitated, upset and anxious and frightened children, adults etc. As human beings we think with our prefrontal cortex which is the front part of our brain, (the area behind our forehead) all higher order thinking, logic, planning, intelligence association is done in this part of the brain. But all inputs to the brain first go through a part of our brain called the amygdala, so for any information to go to the prefrontal cortex (the thinking brain) it has to pass through the amygdala. Now the information passes smoothly during happy and positive experiences, but when the human being is upset or scared then the amygdala can hold the information and take its own decisions. Amygdala has only two decisions, fight or flight, so either the person you are trying to handle in a stressful situation will start fighting, arguing or get aggressive with you or will start crying, hiding or not want to meet you or talk to you. In this situation you as the person in charge have to realize that the brain required dopamine chemical to function smoothly and calmly, happy emotions can trigger dopamine. So talk calmly to the child, talk positively to the child, allow the child to drink water (water has oxygen and oxygen is one of the requirements of the brain, it helps calm it) and do not shout or ridicule or blame the child at this point. Or amygdala will hijack the functioning of the prefrontal cortex.

7. Based on the above Teachers should consciously use RAD learning in the classroom- (R- reticular activating system, A- amygdala’s filter, D- dopamine).

8. Schools should have a zero tolerance policy for teachers using sarcasm, ridicule, threatening and demeaning punishments as it directly harms self esteem, confidence, and self image in kids and creates unnecessary fear that leads to stress.

9. Schools to complete tests, dictation in the early half of the day so as not to heighten anxiety in children.

10. Have school buddy system in place where there are specific children who are buddies for children identified with personalities that need more support and nurturing.

11. Teachers to be alert and vigilant about bullies especially in the school bus and help kids to talk about the bullies and teach them positive and successful ways of dealing with the bullies.

12. Anxiety also depends on how a school day begins, if a school day begins with ridiculing ‘me’ because of scruffy shoes or a tie gone askew then the day begins on a negative note and then……. read point no 6 above.

13. Teachers to use stress busters throughout the day, these can be small jokes, ice breakers, deep breathing, stretching postures or just a surprise classroom  jig (everyone is talking about the mob dances at railway station recently)

Details about RAD learning-

Reticular activating system

• Keeping the eyes interested so,

• Multi sensory activities to get the brain’s attention

• Reticular Activating System alerts the brain to change and gets it primed to interact with new information.

Amygdala’s filter-

• Is a part of the brain, which first catches all information before it reaches the prefrontal lobe.

• Games and activities that reduce stress and increase pleasurable associations help keep this brain filter from blocking information.

Dopamine-

• With pleasurable experiences comes this neurotransmitters release.

• With dopamine there is Increase in focus, attention and executive functions in the frontal lobe.

Unravelling the mystery of a healthy childhood.

Health is every one’s quest in life. Parents want to be healthy; they want their kids to be healthy. So is health all about food, exercise? Or is health a lifestyle that you teach your kids about?

The true secret of health and a healthy lifelong lifestyle is ‘keeping it simple’. We need to gift our kids simple everyday essential things to ensure that they remain healthy in mind, body and soul.

THE GIFT OF SIMPLE FOOD: The complexity of competition, stress, fast pace and chemical-laced lifestyle that we have got so used to giving our kids, needs to be shown the back door. When was the last time you really asked your child what he wants you to cook? And then actually gave him that without changing his choice to suit your convenience? Worried that your child will ask you for pizza? Great! Put on a chef’s cap for both of you—drag the dad if possible—wear an apron and start preparing a homemade pizza, with veggies, cheese, and wheat base.

Pack away all the excuses like- ‘I am a working mom’, ‘I don’t have time’, ‘My child does not like the food I cook’, ‘He loves packaged food’, ‘I don’t get time’ etc. This weekend cook a wholesome meal for your child, of his/her choice, with your child helping you if possible. Its okay if he/she drips, drops, spoils your million rupees designer kitchen! Then sit down and enjoy the meal together. See the smile spread on his/her face.

All that packaged food that we tend to give our children has additives and chemicals which are harmful for health. Moreover they have a higher salt content which can lead to early problems of high blood pressure and heart diseases. Scientific studies have shown that many of the additives can cause attention deficit problems and research on cancer has also shown that cancer cells thrive in conditions of high salt and sugar content.

THE SIMPLE GIFT OF WATER: Throw out all the soft drink, tetra juice packs and let your child drink water. Resist the urge to flavour it with sugar or additives. Just pure, simple, unadulterated water- the gift of a life time. Water has oxygen and oxygen is good for blood circulation and blood circulation keeps the brain alert and active. An active brain is good for intelligence. Intelligent children become achievers. Phew! Isn’t that what you want? Then stop listening to all those silly ads that claim that ‘this drink gives your child glucose’ and ‘this drink gives your child brain food’ etc, etc. Keep It Simple Silly. Drink water… together. It’s more fun!

THE SIMPLE GIFT OF PLAY: Buy your child toys, not gadgets! Yes, computer games, video games, even battery-operated toys are not toys. They are gadgets or rather monster toys. Why would you want to gift your child a monster? Your child is intelligent, active, sharp and can solve all video games? Then it means that your child needs toys that stimulate and challenge and as Vygotsky, the Russian educationist said, your child needs to reach ZPD - the Zone of Proximal Development.

Take your child to the next level of play, take him/her from what he/she can do to what he/she finds a challenge to do. This will stimulate interest, keep your child occupied, enhance thinking and problem solving and improve attention abilities and at the same time relax and calm your child. No video games can do all this. Video games teach children to win at any cost, to drive yourself to defeat others, kill others, destroy others. Video games make children aggressive, irritable and restless. Video games (computers, mobile games, play station all included) make children violent and more prone to stress-related diseases.

Keep It Simple Silly. This X’mas, gift your child toys: intricate jigsaws, board games, a cycle, a sports kit, a make-it-yourself kit. Don’t just buy… think, relate to your child’s interest, search and buy.

THE GIFT OF 'NO T.V. LAND': Analyse the kind of television programs your child is watching with you. A serial in which the protagonist is being raped, sold to a brothel? A wife having an extra-marital affair or a wife plotting to kill her husband? Or worse, a husband plotting against his family, having a mistress…. God! Is this what our kids are watching? Night after night? Sitting with their parents? At an age when they cannot distinguish between reality and fantasy? All this will affect their emotional development.

As well known child psychoanalyst Erik Erikson had said in his theory of emotional development, ‘They will learn to mistrust, they will develop low self esteem and will also develop self-doubt’. Young children are developing moral values at that age and if they are exposed to such immoral and unethical concepts then what will happen to the ethical structure of society?

This weekend switch off the television. Ouch! Even the thought is difficult? Okay, then at least switch it off at dinner and together time. No television droning in the background while you help your child with homework, or are playing a board game. Take a pledge that no family drama soaps or reality shows that make children the ‘bali ka bakra’ will be viewed in your home. Can’t stay without it? Then buy a television system in which you can record programs and then watch them when your child is not at home! Keep It Simple Silly. Make your own entertainment.

THE GIFT OF 'SIMPLY SLEEP': ‘It’s time to go to bed,’ was what traditional parents would say, and then the mother or father would bathe the child (a warm water bath helps relax muscles and relaxed children sleep faster) while talking to the child  about his/her day (bonding time with the parents helps the child develop positive self esteem)  put on fresh night clothes for the child, (fresh clothes help children relax, and helps the skin breathe) tuck him in bed, read him a story or sing him a lullaby and then as the child’s eyes slowly drooped shut, the parent would kiss them on the forehead, whisper complementary sentences like, my sweet girl, my brave boy, my good child etc (positive motivation just before bed time helps work on the child’s confidence and self esteem) and leave the child to sleep peacefully at nine o’clock at night! Sounds like a fantasy right? Do gift your child this fantasy instead of the horror of being told to ‘Go brush your teeth, while I watch this important serial’, ‘Now go and wear your pyjamas and come and sit with me on the sofa while I watch my favourite serial’ and then the child falls asleep on the sofa with a television set shrilling away violent dialogues or gory war images or sobs of soap heroines. This isn’t lovely background music for your child to sleep in. No wonder your child wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares or bed wets or has a fitful night and is dull or irritable in the morning and drowsy in school. Brain research says that sleep time is when the brain organises information collected in the daytime. When the child’s brain does not get enough sleep then the child can suffer from inability to retain facts, get confused, forget information easily and chronic sleep deprivation also leads to irritability violence and inattentiveness. Keep It Simple Silly - make your child a ‘sleeping beauty’!

So, when you gift wrap all these simple gifts together, then you will be gifting your child the most precious gift: A safe, healthy, love-filled childhood and a fantastic life ahead. If all these simple gifts sound difficult to do on a daily basis, then at least gift this to them on weekends!