Saturday, 6 September 2014

Looking good. Feeling good.

Looking good or feeling good? Did the makdee (spider)  get caught in its own web?

A national award-winning actress is arrested for prostitution and many editorials talk about how her family was going through hard times and thus she had to resort to this kind of work. Was that the real reason?  Because if she had to support her family then there are jobs available like join a BPO, teach or work in a day care, give tuitions etc. the real reason was that she was holding on to a false goal of preserving her image, that of an actress and trying to live up to a certain style of living and dressing even though it was unaffordable. It was this false pride that brought her doom. This is where we need to focus on teaching young girls and boys the difference between feeling good and looking good.

Yesterday I was with some young girls and boys and one of them was being teased by the others about her weight (she is slightly plump, not obese). They ribbed her to get fit, go to the gym they said. I asked them to have a ‘staircase test’ to find out who is fit and who is fat. The slim and trim ones were huffing and puffing by the time they reached the 4th floor and the plump one was able to climb to the 5th floor without gasping and wheezing, so much for being slim!. The point is we are too obsessed with looks, image, style and brands and forget what are actually important- feelings, values, self-esteem, and self worth. We allow others to define what is important without thinking for ourselves and valuing what we have.

What others think about us is important and should be important but not at the cost of our pride, self esteem and self worth. This actress did not consider the consequences on her reputation when she took the decision to earn the fast and easy money. And by giving importance to the money and not how it is earned, she got caught in her own web.

To look good is now considered synonymous to being good, so the meaning of ‘good’ is lostin the ‘superficialness’ of looking better, thinner, fairer etc., but is that what makes us good?   Its time to safeguard our young boys and girls from getting caught in the web of image conscious v/s intelligent conscience. If children grow up seeing adults (be it teachers or parents) only valuing  ‘superficialness’ then it will have a detrimental effect on the choices they make in their life, career and even in choosing their life partner. They will learn to make important decisions based on external  impressions and not on lasting bonds or emotions.

It is also important to nurture resilience in our youth so that when faced with adversity and  problems  they do not take incorrect decisions or break down or get caught in the web of problems. We need to ensure that our youth do not face the same fate as ‘makdee’ and to do that we need to make them strong, independent, thinking and empowered individuals who know the difference between looking good and feeling good.


49 comments:

namrata singh said...

Truly said Ma'am and thank you for sharing this wonderful article.Nowadays youngster really focus on outer beauty.

PJK Koradi said...

Thank you so much ma’am for sharing yet another wonderful article by giving real example. Very motivating and encouraging lines that “ It is very essential to make the young generation understand the difference between looking good and feeling good.It is also important to nurture resilience in our youth so that when faced with adversity and problems they do not take incorrect decisions or break down or get caught in the web of problems. We need to ensure that our youth do not face the same fate as ‘makdee’.As a parent, teacher and educationist its our duty to make the young generation understand all these things in such a way.Thank you so much ma'am.

Mentor Sarina said...

This reminds me of a message written on a balloon."it is not what is outside,but what is inside that helps you reach the top"
Thank you madam for sharing yet another wonderful article which leaves teachers and parents to introspect and opens our eyes to are we actually training our children to be confident enough to equip themselves to have a good inner self and virtues to rise to the top and not take short cuts...

Ankita Suchak said...

Thank you ma`am for sharing one more article.It's true that today's young generation is after becoming slim & looking good but they are not aware about what in reality is the fitness & & feeling good.

vaishali joshi said...

once again a inspiring and motivational message to all.Looking good and also feeling good will give peace of mind and a kind of satisfaction which we all search for.

Amravati Pjk said...

Thank you ma'am for guiding and differentiating between looking young and feeling young .This article is most helpful to our young generation to understand about fame and fitness.

jayshree shah said...

"Looking good .Feeling good'
this article is really having a true message for Parents, Teachers & other we should understand the difference between feeling good and looking good. We are obessed with looks ,image ,Style & brand and forget the important aspects of feelings , values,self esteem and self worth. We should strive to be intelligent conscience vs image conscious.
Beauty spoils your duty , duty makes your beauty.Care for ethics & values as children learn through imitation.

nagpur jumbo kid said...

Truly said Ma'am .In present scenario inculcating values in present generation is too difficult for parents .There is very thin line between good and bad.If parents can teach the difference to their child they have already won half the battle of parenting .

Thanks for sharing wonderful article .

Uma Nagdeo said...

It is very important to make understand today's generation about the real beauty which lies in our actions our values and our attitude towards our life. but as said in the above article people are giving more importance towards the look rather than the feeling.
A must read article thank you ma'am for sharing this article.

Bhusawal PJK said...

Ma'am thank you for sharing this article.It is very important for our young generation to understand the difference between looking good and feeling good so that they do not face the same fate as in the article.

PJK,Nigdi said...

Thank you ma'am.Thank you for the wonderful article with real example.yes,we need to empower the youngsters.

Jumbo Kids Akola said...

Truly said Ma'am, it is very important to teach young generation difference between looking good and feeling good. Thankyou once again Ma'am.

Manju Joshi said...

Just as wisdom is knowledge put into practice. I believe that self esteem is the act of valuing yourself. I rightly support blog and Its your confidence in your ability to learn what needs to be learnt and do what needs to be done to be effective in any situation you face. It is very important to guide kids not only the outer beauty, options of studies or job but should give them lifetime learning which will make them better individuals.

Jumbo kids Chakan II said...

A very motivational and inspiring meassage. It is very important to teach young generation difference between looking good and feeling good. Young generation only focuses on outer beauty. As a teacher or as a parent its our duty to make the young ones understand all these things in productive way.

Jumbo kids Chakan II said...
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Jumbo kids Latur said...

In each situation always there is a learning. Really, Being good does not mean only by outer goodness. We have to consider being good straight from the heart. Ultimately, we have to decide on our own code of ethics, and what matters is that we follow through with what we believe makes us a good person.

Philosophers have been debating what is good and what is not for centuries, and many people find that it's more complicated than just being kind.

Thank you ma'am for sharing one more article by giving a real example

kamal said...

Very informative and wonderful article "Looking good. Feeling good". It is very important as adults and as teachers to teach and guide our young boys and girls to focus on the inner beauty rather than on the outer beauty.
To make children learn and understand the difference between looking good and feeling good. Its time to safeguard our young generation getting caught in the web of image conscious v/s intelligent

shilpa said...

Best said in this article we do have young generation like this if right guardian than they achieve right goal
it does not take time to be caught in our own cow web but we keep learning when we have good people in our life as said to ensure that our youth do not face the same fate as ‘makdee’ and to do that we need to make them strong, independent, thinking and empowered individuals who know the difference between looking good and feeling good.

Kamakshi Iyer said...

Looking good.Feeling good this article is really a learning for parents,teachers and children. We are obessed with style and looks and images. Our beauty is our self esteem.We should really make the young generation understand to equip themselves to have a good inner self and virtues to rise the top. Thank you madam for sharing this real fact article with us

Pjk Belgaum said...

Truly said Ma'am.Feeling good always gives us the positive results as it lasts longer than just looking good.Thank you Ma'am for such a wonderful article.

Jumbo Kids Dhule said...

As correctly guided by you ma'am, it is important that kids should become more strong and independent thinkers to differentiate between inner beauty and outer beauty. At the same time it is important for parents and teachers to be a role model for generation next.

Sonali Karmakar said...

Thank you ma'am for sharing such informative article... Indeed our youngsters should read this article and implement the same.

Snehal N said...

PJK, Kolhapur - " Looking Good & Feeling Good " is motivational, wonderful & informative article. As a teacher, parents its helpful to us for guiding young generation to understand them importance of inner beauty which is values, attitude,good actions etc rather than outer beauty

PJK Patiala said...

I have seen people not only starving but also making easy compromises with moral values while running the mad race to acquire glamourous looks and lavish life styles.
Very rightly said by you, Madam,it is more important to feel good than to look good.

pjkparbhani said...

Being good and looking good is having a difference and it was good learning from this article to make young generation aware about it.

Aur.harsultpoint Pjk said...

Looking good is definetly important as we have right to look good, as it makes us feel good and even boosts up our confideece but definetly not at the cost of our ethics,culture.

Veena Sangli said...

Truly said Ma'am,most of girls and boys give importance to superficial to look better.yes it is important.But forgot of being good,feel good and respect others.Need to develop being good quality in them.

Bhosari Pjk said...

Thank you ma'am,once again for sharing one more article with us. This article is really very helpful for our young generation who are more conscious about becoming slim,for today's generation fitness mean being slim.

Abhaya K- PJK Bangalore-1 said...

An eye opening article.In order to avoid running behind the materialistic life, parents and teachers should develop high moral values in youngsters. We should also teach young ones the importance of contentment in life.

Sapna Belliappa said...

Thank you Ma'am for sharing this wonderful article. Its very important get your priorities in life right.
As a parent and teacher or even as a human being we need to know that there is a very thin line between inner beauty and outer beauty which need to be understood especially by the younger generation.Thanks Ma'am,for your valuable insight.

Kalpana Mahalwar said...

It's true that today's young generation is after becoming slim & looking good but they are not aware of, what really matters ,it is inner beauty rather than appearance . They should work on life skills to become a good individual

Shimoga Pjk said...

Very truly said ma'am,as the need of the hour is to attain self contentment.So it is more important to know our self and grow and excel in a balanced way.

Pritijayant said...

Truly said ma`am, today there is a need who will make the understand new generation about internal beauty. Difference between feeling good and looking good, all are only concentrating about outer look and feeling happy to maintain slim trim themselves but by this article we can understand which type of condition we can feel and face as like ...."Makdee",Thank you so much ma`am for sharing this wonderful article. As a parents and teachers its our duty to make understand difference to the kids.

Indu Chanda said...
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Indu Chanda said...

Yet another topic for introspection. Thank you for sharing this ma'am. Just one thing I want to add is one might not have control on looking good but one can definitely work on being good.

Mysore Pjk said...

Thank you ma'am for the sharing this article. Looking good and feeling good.It is very informative we as parents and teachers should guide our younger generation and make them aware of it and choose the right path.

Gandhinagar Pjk said...

Looking good doesn’t have to go before feeling good, because not only will that rob you of so much life and happiness, but also because it’s a never-ending, excruciating quest to a ‘perfect’ self that doesn’t exist. The key, instead, is to feel good about yourself now because you have so much in you that no amount of ‘looking good’ can ever be worth. Feel good about the person you are—not yet about the person you’re trying so hard to be.
Thank you so much ma'am for this wonderful article.

Aparna PJK Chinchwad-2 said...

An article is always remembered when explained with an example. Thank You Ma'am for yet another interesting and motivational article. We must inform our younger generation that beauty is not in the face, beauty is a light in the heart.Nobody can stop you from looking good but we must remember that a good and a clean heart keeps you beautiful forever.

Usha Bhagat said...

This article gives a true message for all of us in the society in today's world. Everyone should understand the importance and difference between the inner and the outer beauty. In the world of glamour everyone is running behind fame and to achieve it many times wrong path is chosen.
Young girls and boys needs to be guided on this. As a part of society each member should contribute in guiding young generation.

Ms Vaishali Chaudhary(PJK Chinchwad) said...

Thank you Maam for this wonderful article which makes us understood that it's not the material beauty but the eternal beauty matters. We should be able to think and to take proper decisions to protect our self-esteem and pride.

Jumbo Kids, Chakan said...

Very true that the new generation need to understand the difference between looking good and feeling good.

PJK Vadgaon said...

Thank you madam for sharing yet another wonderful article it's true that today's generation believe in looking good in place of feeling good.

Pjk Baroda said...

We must learn to prioritize our values based on eternal things not temporal ones. Sadly, today's youth don't realize this leading to maladjustment. You have rightly written that the youth should be resilient enough to stand steady in the face of turmoil.

Hita Raval said...
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Preeti Jha said...

Truly said Ma'am .This article is really an eye opener for all youngster who merely give importance to outer beauty .

Pjk Ujjain said...

Thank you mam for giving us the real meaning of looking good.A person should never be judged by his looks or physic but he should be valued for what he is from inside...

Pjk Bengaluru CBSE said...

This article educates us to imbibe the qualities of acquiring inner beauty (Knowledge) which is inseparable from any individual among younger generation rather than focussing on to external appearance to the world which they assume they can achieve in a short span of time and deviate to wrong ways--Chitra

PJK Vadgaonsheri 2 said...

Truly said that looking good should be synonymous to feeling good.Inner beauty of a person should be respected and appreciated rather then just the outward appearance.As a parent, teacher and educationist its our duty to make the young generation understand this in a proper way.Thank you so much ma'am for the guidance given to all of us through lovely blogs.

Jumbo Kids Nashik said...

Wonderful article for today's youth. Thank you ma'am for sharing it.