Religion should ideally be learnt by
‘watching and participating’ with family members. That is why most religions
have a baptism or name ceremony etc. early in life. This is the child’s first
initiation into the customs of the religion and usually these are held in
places of worship or conducted by priests. Religion like other important
learning should be ‘known to unknown’ so the idea of religion should be given
to children from the safe haven of ‘laps, hugs, bed time stories, celebrations’
etc.
Religion is understood in three ways
by young minds, so be careful of what they are associating religion with, best
to give kids a balanced view and perspective -
1.
Religion as a custom and tradition- so kids learn to touch feet of
elders or do namaz or go to a temple and do aarti or light a candle etc.
2.
Religion as a moral police- kids learn about ‘God’ as the
biggest ‘policeman’ so do not lie or god will be angry, or you will go to hell
or heaven.
3.
Religion as a celebration- here kids look at the celebration
aspect of the religion, so the festivals means social gatherings, material
gains, food, money, and sometimes helping others as part of the celebration.
Religion and how a child is taught
about religion can have a profound impact on the child’s view of the world and
ability to respect others view points.
· Positive impact of religion if taught
correctly- then
children grow up with a conscience, first governed by ‘pleasing god’ and then
internalizing the process and making it a part of life and behavior.
· If not taught correctly- then children grow up with biases
against other religions, labeling others based on their religion. This can end
up negatively impacting their life decisions both socially and emotionally. It
can make them tyrants or bullies against people of another religion because
they were brought up to think of them as bad. It can make them less empathetic
and sympathetic towards people from these religions and can mar their ability
to make friends, take wise decisions in life and even in their careers and
jobs. It adds to the making the world a less tolerant place and will then lead
to more religious terrorism.
Here are 8 simple things that parents
should do to raise children that will grow up with a healthy attitude towards
religion.
1.
Do
not enroll kids in a school or educational institution that believes or
practices only one religion. Even if it is your own. This makes kids less tolerant and knowledgeable
about other religions. Put them in religion classes if you want after school or
Sunday school or Koran school.
2.
Expose
kids to all faiths by telling them stories from all religions. The best way to
do that is to celebrate all festivals that schools give as a holiday. Talk
about the holiday, what festival is it, which religion celebrates it, how they
celebrate it, why they celebrate, how it has evolved over the years and maybe a
story related to the same. This will give children a healthy attitude towards
all religions, cultures and celebrations and some basic knowledge about
different gods and customs.
3.
Be
careful about the myths and superstitions, as they should not be passed down,
nor are they part of any religious texts.
4.
If
you do not want the child to visit other religious places other than your own
then make it clear to your child with the reason at the age that the child can
understand. Till then make the rule clear to the adults taking care of the
child.
5.
Do
not use religion to create boundaries or teach morals or scare children into
behaving. God should not be used for such things. When you use it like that
with children then it can manifest itself as religious terrorism in adulthood.
After all you used religion to terrorize into behaving then the learning will
be used by children when they grow up to be young adults.
6.
As
children become old enough to use social networking sites teach them not to
ridicule, laugh, criticize any religion or comment or participate in any
unhealthy posts, likes or forwards to do with religion. Religion is a private
matter of the individual and the family and we should respect points of view.
7.
If
both parents practice different religions then it is best that the child is
exposed equally to both religions. Best if each parent or grandparent takes up
the responsibility for their religion so as to give the child the right
perspective and balance of both.
8.
Do
not generalize based on religion, especially during family debates and
discussions. We have a habit to even categorize and label animals, we say sly
as a wolf etc. lets leave it to that. Let us not label a Hindu as this or a
Muslim as that. Children must know that every Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Jew,
Sikh etc. is different and just because one has made a mistake it does not mean
the entire sect should be labeled.
Parts of the above article have also been
featured in a Mumbai Mirror article ‘Talking God’ by Nasrin Modak-Siddiqi,
check it out on http://epaperbeta.timesofindia.com/Article.aspx?eid=31821&articlexml=Talking-God-03062015026016
