Helping children deal with terrorism, trauma and terrible things…

The Paris tragedy will bring with it a lot of fears and anxiety in young children. Some will be able to voice them and some will worry about it unable to ask the questions that are worrying them. It is important that as parents and teachers we support them in this period by ensuring that our own anxiety does not pass on to our children. If you find a child withdrawn or has suddenly started exhibiting different behavior, then maybe talking to the child or helping the child draw his/her emotions and thoughts can help.

Children will have a lot of questions and it is important that if children ask questions about the tragedy and its related factors that we reply to these questions with honesty and simplicity. It is better that they voice their questions to a trusted individual like a parent or teacher rather than being ignored. Our replies will also give them an assurance that the adults are thinking about their safety and they will be able to get back their trust and feel more secure.

5 sensitive questions that children ask about terrorism and how to handle them appropriately.

1.     Who is a terrorist?

Ans- A terrorist is a person who hurts others and harms them. Sometimes even killing them.

2.     Why were they killing the children?

Ans- They wanted to harm people and they did not think whether the people they are killing are kids or teachers or parents.

3.     Were there no guards or policemen to save the people?

Ans- Yes there were and the guards and policemen and they tried their very best to save the people and many were saved too.

4.     Will terrorists come to my city/school too?

Ans- Well your mummy and daddy and all of us in school are going to protect you and keep you safe.

5.     Will the terrorists be caught and punished?

Ans- Yes, all the police and army will now hunt them down and capture them soon.

Let us not ignore the anxieties that may be plaguing our young children as they see images or hear about the tragedy. Let us keep our children safe and secure in the knowledge that we are there for them. It is time for our own ‘sanitization’ and ‘sensitization’ instead of ‘sensationalism’.  Let’s begin with sanitization- removing any left over fears, doubts lurking in their minds-

1.     Do not allow your child to be knowingly exposed to visuals of such violence, If you are watching a news telecast that is about the violence then take the time to explain in very simple language what he is seeing and reassure him/her that he/she is safe.

2.     While explaining do not use phrases like- ‘these are naughty boys just like you have in your class’, or, ‘see, this is why mummy tells you not to be a naughty boy then you will grow up to be like them’. All this will only worsen the trauma and damage your child’s self esteem, self-confidence and dent his/her self-image.

3.      Be very careful that you do not discuss related events in front of your child, even if you think he/she is busy playing with toys or is happily watching a kids channel; they are focusing on you all the time. So be extremely careful.

4.      Your children should not hear you say- ‘I am scared, what if this happens to me tomorrow?’, or, ‘what if this happens in my child’s school?’ this will only increase the fear psychosis in your child.

5.     Some children may bed wet, start getting scared of the dark, will be clingy and refuse to leave you alone or even start nail biting. Understand, accept and slowly reassure them.

6.     Working parents can call them at home more often if they feel that the child is unduly upset. Tell them about where you are and that you are safe, this will reduce their worry. Children get worried too about their parents!

7.     Use play therapy to help gain an insight in what is going on in your child’s mind; drawing, block play or doll play are some forms of play in which we come to know about the emotional upheaval going on in their minds.

Let’s use this time now to sensitize ourselves and our children for the future- some ways to sensitize children-

1.     Violence has become an accepted way of life for our children, they are exposed to it all the time, hence it is imperative that parents and the school do not condone any kind of violence or violent activities. When your child watches glorified violence with you (in a blockbuster movie) he understands that violence makes my parents happy, and so he will always resort to violence to solve any situation in life, instead teach him conflict resolution.

2.     Do not teach children to ‘hit back’, when children are taught this at a very young age, they use ‘hit back’ for all their life’s frustrations- most terrorists are hitting back at society.

3.     Do not gift guns to your child, a child idolizes his parents and when he receives a gun as a gift from them, he is somewhere getting a message that guns are fun and this is the first step towards violence acceptance.

4.     Many parents ask – ‘our kids say that police also use guns’, so we gift our children guns so that they children’s guns so that they idolize the police and the army. This is incorrect, guns are unsafe and should NOT   be given to children, either at Diwali or Holi or otherwise. And parents must become strong and tell them that the police and the army first had to undergo a long process of training then they got their gun license and are using it, just like you cannot drive a car and we can, because we are old enough to and have a license.

5.     Children learn by imitation- so learn anger management so that your children look at you and learn how to deal with dress and all such angry emotions.

Let’s remember it is our children and our youngsters who are our future, lets take care of them and let’s salute all the armed forces and policemen for the remarkable duty that they do to keep us safe. So the next time you are in your car and a policeman stops you to remind you about wearing a seatbelt or points out that you were talking on the phone or went through a red light, be polite to them and respect them, remember your child is watching you.

Let’s make this world a safer place for our children.

Swati Popat Vats- Director- Podar Jumbo Kids Preschools

                  President – Early Childhood Association- www.eca-india.org

Tips For a Safe Diwali

Tips for a Safe Diwali from Ms. Shalini of Safe Baby

10 safety tips to keep our children safe this festival season:

Diwali Tip # 1

At least two studies have shown that the ‘Anaar’ (flares/ fountain) caused the most burn cases during Diwali. Safe Baby recommends that parents be extremely careful when lighting Anaars. Don’t light the Anaar while holding it in your hand. Don’t bend over the Anaar while lighting it on the floor. Once lit, withdraw quickly. In case it does not work after lighting, don’t approach it before five minutes. Even then approach it cautiously. Don't try to re-ignite it.

Diwali Tip # 2

Cold water is the best home treatment for burns. Hold the burnt area under tap water for 10-15 minutes till the burn cools down. Locate a convenient source of running water before you use firecrackers. In an emergency you do not want to waste time looking for the water source. Do not apply butter, oil or any ointment on the burn as that could lead to infection.

Diwali Tip # 3

KEM Hospital studied injuries due to fireworks from 1997 to 2006. The maximum injuries were in the age group 5-14 years. 92% of these children were unsupervised. Safe Baby recommends that parents supervise their children while they are playing with firecrackers.

Diwali Tip # 4

Used fireworks should be disposed carefully – especially sparklers (phuljharis). Sparklers remain hot after use. Have a designated area for the disposal of fireworks. Preferably use a sand pit or a bucket of water. Safe Baby recommends that parents educate children about the importance of disposing used fireworks carefully.

Diwali Tip # 5

Make children wear cotton clothes (no synthetics) when they go down to play with fireworks. Covered arms and legs are better. However make sure sleeves or clothes are not loose. For the girls, pin the dupattas behind so that it does not catch fire accidentally.

Diwali Tip # 6

To protect your children from the dangers of noise pollution use ear plugs or ear muffs. Remember babies cannot cover their ears. If you can’t find ear plugs or ear muffs, use cotton. 

Diwali Tip # 7

On Diwali, one of the commonest causes of burn injuries is firework misuse. Read the manufacturer’s instructions on the fireworks. Read them to the children and follow them. Remember that children mimic adults. Make sure that your own use of fireworks is safe.

Diwali Tip # 8

Pick the venue for playing with fireworks carefully. Do not allow any fireworks inside the house. For external venues, make sure there is no traffic. Children may not notice oncoming traffic in the excitement. Make sure there are no inflammable goods or articles close by.

Diwali Tip # 9

Safe Baby recommends that after playing with firecrackers, please wash your hands thoroughly with soap. Fireworks carry a lot of chemical compounds which can be injurious to health.

Diwali Tip # 10

Safe Baby recommends that parents have a list of emergency contact numbers ready. This list should include phone numbers of your pediatrician, closest hospital and ambulance, and fire-station. This list should be saved on your mobile phones or kept in a place where it can be found easily.

Have a safe Diwali.

Shalini Ahuja Agarwal

CEO

Safe Baby

A 504 Dynasty Business Park

Andheri-Kurla Road, Andheri East

Mumbai 400059

Cell: 09967550801

www.safebaby.in

https://www.facebook.com/SafeBaby.in

Child Abuse – The Sounds of Silence

"Child abuse" can be defined as causing or permitting any harmful or offensive contact on a child's body; and, any communication or transaction of any kind which humiliates, shames, or frightens the child. It is an act or omission, which fails to nurture in the upbringing of the children at any age, sex, race, religion, and socioeconomic background. Children who are abused suffer greatly, and a society in which abuse takes place is considerably diminished. The African proverb, 'It takes a village to raise a child', epitomises the importance of the role of the wider community in raising children and young people.

For young children the three broad categories of child abuse are-

a.       Physical abuse

b.      Emotional abuse

c.       Sexual abuse

Physical abuse is very common in our country both in urban and rural areas. Spanking, hitting, pinching are an accepted method of disciplining young children both in schools and at home. In a recent article of the American college of Paediatricians there are guidelines to how and how much a parent should/can spank a child. This is a cause for worry as research shows that children who are spanked or physically abused learn to use violence as a means to solving all conflicts in life, they learn that ‘hitting’ is a form of showing love and tend to be more physically abusive in all their relationships. An article in Time magazine, ‘Should teachers be allowed to spank students?’ points out that there is little evidence that spanking actually works to change children's behaviour for the better. In fact, kids spanked tend to be more aggressive than other kids and are likelier to develop behavioural problems as they get older. It further says that some studies show that corporal punishment can even lower IQs. Teachers and parents both need to understand the negative long lasting effects of spanking and should be taught to use conflict resolution for behaviour management. In today’s world teachers and mothers need to be leaders and not bosses. In Piaget’s words they must work for the goal of ‘autonomy’ (intelligent and ethical decision making) rather than obedience. The community can play a huge role in bringing about this change. Regular reports about this in the media have helped to strengthen the laws and now teachers can be imprisoned if found to have spanked or hit or physically abused children. Teacher training colleges to include behaviour management as a subject in the curriculum so that teachers are trained about the different techniques that can be used in place of physical abuse for classroom discipline. Therapists, counsellors, paediatricians and schools can educate parents about the futility of trying to change children with physical abuse. As mahatma Gandhi says, ‘punishment never cures children, infact it hardens them further’.

The second kind of abuse that young children in our society are subjected to is emotional abuse, lack of love; nurturing and the growing trend of stressing children with high and unrealistic expectations of making them excel right from kindergarten years. The additional emotional stress on these young kids is multiplied many fold when they are interviewed for school admissions. The collective stress of preparing for the interview, facing a stranger and unreasonable pressure placed by parents, all tend to stress out the young growing brain. Brain research in recent years has proven that 98% of the brain develops in the first five years and important neuro chemicals required for brain growth are diminished when a child undergoes this kind of emotional stress leading to primitive reflex behaviours like fight and flight and thus aggravating the situation further leading to more reprimands from the parents and the vicious cycle never ends. Emotional abuse leaves lasting scars leading to unhealthy behaviour and personality traits which will impact the self esteem, confidence, language skills, cognitive skills and social skills of the child. Erik Erikson emotional development theory- the eight stages of mankind, clearly states that these children will develop mistrust, guilt, shame, inferiority complex which can even lead to isolation and despair. Community intervention for emotional abuse is more difficult but not impossible, gynaecologists should start distributing relevant material on brain development to expectant mothers so that in the nine months she can start to understand and relate to the needs of her growing child and this will then continue to be practised as she becomes a parent. Teachers in the early childhood programs can be trained to look for signs of emotional abuse in children so that they can identify it early and help the parents change their behaviour and expectations of the child. Television programs that make children compete even before they have gained confidence in themselves or developed their own personality is a worrying trend that needs to be stopped immediately.

The third worrying form of abuse that children are facing is the heinous crime of sexual abuse. This perversion in our society is growing day by day and the target of this is now little toddlers. Child sexual abuse must be one of the most heinous crimes committed against children. It is sad and disgusting because the kids do not even realize that a crime has been committed as child sexual abusers are usually adults that the child ‘trusts’. An emerging sickness in these offenders that had never been addressed when warning children about sexual abuse is that we are always warning kids about others touching them in their private parts, but we don’t warn them about others asking them to touch them (the abusers) in their private parts. This sick technique used by many offenders makes the child an innocent party to their sick sexual perverseness.

Yes, this country needs stringent laws to punish such criminals, but this country also needs to sensitise the parents, the teachers, the kids and the youth about taking care of their bodies and keeping them safe. Parents and teachers can work together and educate children of all ages about being safe and understanding about GOOD TOUCH- BAD TOUCH. It is never too early to talk to kids about body safety and in this case prevention is definitely better than cure. Prevention is possible if parents and teachers understand about keeping children safe from harm at all times.

Parents need to understand that children are too innocent to understand such acts. Parents and teachers both need to understand that sometimes in their ‘non stop chatter’, children may have important things to tell us, so don’t ignore them. And teachers and parents need to understand that children ‘talk’ through their drawings so listen and look for the clues.

The larger socio-economic system in which child and family are embedded can influence family functioning, child development and the availability of helping resources, such as universal child and health services, within communities and neighbourhoods. The importance of community is currently undergoing a resurgence of interest, with governments and the child welfare and family support sectors redesigning services to become more community-centred, and forging alliances with local communities to help improve the physical and social environment of communities. Child abuse prevention programs play an important role in crime prevention, because not only is abuse criminal activities, children who are abused are at greater risk of engaging in antisocial and criminal behaviour later in life. The community based program should focus on ensuring the safety and well-being of children, creating stable living environments, establishing a permanent residence for each child, and creating a community-based support system. This could be accomplished by medical exams; psychosocial support; education; advocacy; consultation. The key community-level factors that are likely to be related to child maltreatment, such as poverty, neighbourhood, culture and parenting practices, apply more to physical abuse, emotional abuse and neglect than to the sexual abuse of children. Community-level approaches, particularly those designed to create healthy communities, focus on the forms of maltreatment that can be remedied or prevented by the use of social support or parent education via the promotion of 'positive parenting' strategies. Such strategies are not designed to prevent child abuse. The application of holistic or community-based approaches to the prevention of child abuse is limited to primary-level community education of parents and the education of school-aged children to teach them the means of avoiding or seeking assistance with unwanted sexual or physical advances. Personal safety programs have the aim of educating children to protect themselves from sexual abuse. The programs attempt to involve the children's parents in order to raise community awareness of child abuse and to teach parenting skills related to protecting children and detecting signs of abuse. Protective Behaviours programs focus on teaching children to avoid a wide range of potentially unsafe situations, only some of which involve child maltreatment. Effective child abuse prevention requires a truly holistic approach where risk and resiliency continue to be acknowledged as inter-related and solutions are developed to address the former and to promote the latter.

Community based intervention is now increasingly more important as children are being brought up mostly by strangers. The breakup of the joint family system and increasing economic burden has meant that both parents are out seeking financial resources for survival and leaving the every important job of nurturing and care of their children in the hands of crèches, daycares, pre schools, ayahs, etc. Children these days come more and more in contact with strangers which was never the case before. The young child in the family was always the most protected and taken care of by some or the other family member. Today sadly these kids because of their exposure and dependence on care by strangers are also becoming victims of child abuse of all three kinds. Untrained staff, unhealthy practises, lack of adult child ratio in their care is all leading to children’s needs being sidelined and taken care of by one or the other kind of abuse.

It’s time to change that, it’s time for a community conscience to be built, a conscience that will be alert to the needs of the young child. It is said that ‘the child is the father of the man’, rightly so as these young children will grow up to be the youth and driving force of this country. If they are abused then they will grow up as fractured youth that will diminish the community and societal strength of our country. A community conscience will help us all become alert to the needs of kids and especially help us be alert about child abuse so that the necessary action can be taken in time before it destroys the very fabric of our community.

Community conscience can be a four pronged approach wherein neighbours, teachers, parents, media and policy makers become alert about abuse and ensure that it is reported, prevented and remedied with intervention and stringent laws, laws that would favour the child and not the offender. It’s time to bring abuse out of our homes as this is the first place where physical and emotional abuse to children starts. Children do not have the voice or the language development to make a case for themselves and that is why we are unable to hear their sounds of silence. Community based interventions like educating parents and teachers using radio programs, documentaries, articles in local newspapers, messages during television soaps will all ensure that we are able to prevent abuse so that intervention happens before the abuse and not after. Another major area of concern is juvenile homes, remedial homes and processes that these victim go through as sometimes these very places add to the abuse instead of being the solution they aggravate the problem. This happens due to lack of resources, lack of training and insensitive handling of children. With community intervention that is conscience based which means we make training, prevention, advocacy a part of our collective community conscience we will be able to ensure that their voice is heard and touch never becomes trouble in any child’s life. It’s time to make the village rise so that the sounds we hear are not of silent suffering but that of happy, healthy, nurtured children. 

Fostering Independence

My guest blogger this time is Ms. Kelsey Meyers from Austin Texas

Four ways to make your bathroom a place kids want to be

By Ty Schmidt

There’s only so much you can learn from the Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood jingles about brushing your teeth and stopping to go potty right away. Sure, the mind of a toddler is hard-wired to pick up concepts more efficiently when they are attached to a catchy tune, but that’s just the first step toward making positive behaviors stick. The second can’t be taught by a television or a tablet. It needs to be practiced and reinforced in the home.

While a good song may lay a solid foundation for parents to draw upon, putting those well-intentioned lyrics into action requires more than a good singing voice. It requires patience, planning and commitment from parents. One way to make things easier is to find methods of fostering independence doing everyday tasks by working with the space at hand to make it one that encourages understanding as well as cognitive growth and development.

A good place to start is the bathroom, where there is a lot you can do to help your tot learn to tend to and care for the simplest and simultaneously some of the most important components of personal hygiene.

Many parents know there is a fine line between indulging too much and not enough in the life of a small child. (Temper tantrums anyone?) But there are ways (big and small) to integrate kid-friendly design elements into any bathroom to make it a more comfortable space for the little ones. Here are a few of our favorites:

First things first. One of the most important developmental milestones for children and parents to overcome is potty training. Making that process as pain free as possible is easier for some families than others, which is to be expected and completely normal. But there are things, like a proper potty step stool, that can make the process a bit more bearable.

Wash your hands. Being able to reach the sink may pose another challenge for younger children, which makes having a stool (which can be the same as the one you use for getting to the toilet, but doesn’t have to be) accessible invaluable to the cleanly-minded child. Beyond that, there are accessories you can purchase for your faucet that extend the water to a kid-friendly distance, as well as creative ways to make your own at home.

Go bold. Assuming you don’t already have an unspoken connection to the subtle spa-like hues in your bathroom, make it a space your children are likely to feel connected to instead. Think bright and vibrant primary colors on the walls, as well as complimentary accents throughout. This is the place to embrace your inner child. Always wanted a Minnie Mouse-themed bathroom? Now is your chance!

                                          Via Furni Kidz

Take it down. Frustration is one of the most common spark plugs for a tantrum, and therefore is something to be avoided at all costs in the bathroom. Help make it a bit more toddler-ific by bringing necessities, like towels and washcloths, down to their level. Be careful with things like soaps and scrubs, though, at least while the kids are younger.

                                          Via Pop Sugar

Life’s little reminders. There can never be too many. Remember, the bathroom is a place you want your child to feel collected and comfortable, but that doesn’t mean letting things go. Integrating little reminders into the décor can help little minds recall the next step in their bathroom process (like washing their hands, for example).

Ty writes about all things home décor for Modernize.com.  Modernize is where you come to get inspired, see what's possible, and connect with a professional who will make your dream home a reality.

Crying Need for Creativity

This blog is written by guest blogger Ms Vandana Modal Dewan an 'edumother', a mother who believes in change in the education system for our children.

The crying need for Creativity in Education!

-          By Vandana Mohal Dewan

As we hurtle towards the end of another year, I see myself staring at an abyss of sorts, everything so murky and unclear. No, it’s not a mid-life crisis; it’s just a mom-life crisis. You see I am a mom second time over and in a few months’ time my little one will enter the portals of primary school. A time to be thrilled, no doubt, but yet all I feel is trepidation in my heart.

It’s got nothing to do with long hours or heavy bags; it’s to do with what she goes through in those long hours with the contents of the heavy bag.

I see her so happy right now sharing with me all these tiny booklets that she gets from Podar Jumbo kids, where the school has bothered to create tiny little stories about each alphabet that they teach. It’s such a joy to read it out with my daughter Maahi, who loves it when she spots something familiar and even more when she reads them out to me….she makes up words for the pictures as she goes along….telling the story pretty much clearly, just on the basis of the visuals.

Obviously with this kind of a creative approach, my daughter today knows more than probably I did at her age. We were taught A for Apple, B for Ball and all we had to do was mug up the letters, then spelling like cat, mat, fat etc. She on the other hand knows the sound of each letter and various words that can be formed with the sound. She recollects how to write the letter. To her these letters are little adventures she goes on!

She isn’t exceptionally bright, or exceptionally slow…she is just a little 4 year old baby who sees the world with amazement soaking up all the things that are there in her experience. She is moody, lot of times she doesn't want to do Homeplay, but that doesn't make her feel that her “princess” Nidhi Teacher or “oh-so-beautiful” Rukhsar Teacher will scold her or say anything that would hurt her feelings. They will always love her, give her cards that say “we missed you” and life will continue, happy and joyful.

Well, not really, it won’t be the same a few months down in Grade1.

Suddenly in Grade1, with a choice of a board -- CBSE, ICSC or CIE – I fear to see an end to the creative approach to education that I see in Jumbo kids. We have tried the first two boards for my son, so now for our daughter, we have chosen CIE. It’s an unknown entity to me, so I am ambivalent about it.

So, is this fear unfounded? Well, I am comparing my son, Arjun’s experience, now in Grade 7, to what I am hoping will not be repeated by Maahi. School is a place Arjun goes to read various chapters, practice some Maths & Science and come back. His learning happens outside school, from the Internet, through the papers and magazines that he reads, through the stories we share at home. School for a lot of reasons is a drag for him. Again not that he is exceptionally bright or its opposite, its just the way education is imparted in schools, which makes it all so very dreary

Look at the books he reads. Horrendously written, full of typos. Pick up the Computer book for this Grade and you’ll see sentences cut & pasted from Wikipedia; glaring typos. Incorrect solutions to Maths problems; inadequate and convoluted explanations for scientific concepts. Unnecessary details thrust in history…history no more is HIS STORY it's a chronology of events. All kids love stories, but do Indian school kids love HISTORY, nope because it’s just so not engaging!

These school books that he reads are so boring that I wouldn't want to read them, if given a choice. Science is a series of learning definitions, not the amazement of how the world works.

The focus in our education system is on finishing the portions, not so much to understand how much the child has comprehended. Every child’s uniqueness is not focused on, or even creativity, it’s only about the syllabus.

Something needs to change drastically. I would say the methodology has to change; the focus has to change. Teach the same things, but teach it in an engaging, creative and fun way. They will remember more. In the words of mystic, philanthropist, author and spiritual teacher Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, who runs the Isha Foundation "the most responsible way to live is to be playful with life. It is absolutely irresponsible to walk around with a long face. Being playful is being responsible. Only when you are playful, you can be responsive to life."

I pin down the difference of approach to Maahi and Arjun’s education to this, Maahi thinks she is having fun, while actually she is being taught a concept; Arjun and others of his age think they are being taught which is equal to being serious, therefore non-fun! For children Arjun’s age its about cramming facts and vomiting them out on a sheet of paper; for Maahi its about filling up sheets of paper with an imaginary world where A & B can talk and be friends!

Now that I have talked about the actual syllabus, methodology, I now come to the third part of the trinity that plays havoc with the kids' life and, well creativity too! Yes, it’s none other than parents. Someone just needs to check out my Mommy Whatsapp group to see the kind of pressure & involvement each parent, primarily mothers, show. They actually wish each other “All the Best” before the exams, as if it’s their exams not the children. And if you probe further, they are all so frightened as to what their kids will do, what will happen to them, if they don't get good grades and don't make it through those hallowed portals of an IIT! Imagine the kind of pressure we as parents exert on children when we inadvertently let this thought skip our lips! The consequences could be irreversible!

You know it’s perfectly alright, if they [kids] don't get into engineering or medical school, they should just figure out for themselves what they are good at and where their interests lie. There is no need for the parent to add the pressure of “this profession doesn't pay well”. Maybe they may not earn as well as say a Stock Broker, but imagine if they take up a profession they love and their hobby becomes their profession. Wouldn't that be wonderful? As parents our only job is to provide them with a loving, comfortable and secure world; provide an education that gives them life skills, beyond that its what they choose to make of their lives, we just have to learn to take a back seat and life play out its course. Why the insecurity?

What is the solution really? We definitely need an overhauling of our education system, for sure. Maybe you will have some answers, since you are somebody who has conceptualised such a beautiful and creative way of educating little ones. I am hoping you can do something for the older kids too! 

I would like to end this piece with this link of Sir Ken Robinson, an author and education advisor who makes a strong case for creating and environment in our education system, which encourages creativity.

I feel, the crying need of our time are more such voices who promote this engaging, even sort of inorganic method of learning, which really is a life long journey, versus the current system of pedagogy which seems to be set in stone!

http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity

Religious Celebrations and All Round Skills

Let us use Religion and celebrations to multiply all round skills of children.

Every community and religion have their own festivals and celebrations. Each festival has its own distinct flavour and customs. India being such a vast and varied country we are infact lucky that we get to celebrate not only one or two but many festivals and of course we also get the holidays for each festival!

Now more than ever the dividing lines between people have been reduced, maybe thanks to technology or the mixed community living in cities and towns, whatever the reason, more and more people are now participating in each others festivals. This is good for our children. It will  also be good if we use festivals as a way of talking to children about our culture, our dress, our food and our customs and not only use festivals for promoting blind practises and customs.

The celebration of festivals help children in a variety of ways, let’s understand how-

1. Intellectual development- each festival can be linked to the state that it originates from and children can learn the name of the festival, the state, the month, and the customs and this will help them cultivate memory skills, knowledge skills and learn the essential skills of connecting known to unknown. Teacher or parent can even play a game of linking the festival to its food or festival to its month or festival to the community that celebrates it.
2. Creative skills- each festival has some unique decoration that signifies its celebration. Children can be taught to do that decoration and this will help cultivate their creative skills and learning of design, colour, shape etc
3. Physical skills- most of the festivals have some dance form or special way of greeting associated with it. Children can be taught these and this would help their growing physical skills.
4. Emotional skills- festivals are about happiness and joy and the more opportunities that children get of celebrating festivals, the more will be the opportunities to be happy. And let’s not forget that positive emotions enhance memory, so happy emotions will be beneficial in the long run for their overall brain development!
5. Social skills- festivals are the right occasions for children to learn social skills like greeting, prayer, manners, eating, dressing, visiting others, welcoming others etc. Hence festivals must be used to enhance the growing social skills in children, after all children learn by imitation.
6. Language skills- how to speak, what to speak and when to speak are all skills that children need to learn at this age and what better time than festivals to learn it from adults. Also the more children enjoy something the more they will want to talk about it, draw about it and share about it. Hence festivals are a time of enjoyment and it will impact their language development, as they will have lots of things to describe and help expand their vocabulary skills.
7. Mathematical skills- festivals are about shapes, colour, quantity, size etc, the right time to help children develop their growing awareness of the world of numbers. Count the diyas, make a big Id card, colour the Santas, etc etc.

So let’s begin the festivities and enjoy the season of festivals with our kids!

            

Teachers day

The parent is the child’s first Teacher and the school is the child’s second Home and the one person who is the bridge between the First Teacher and the Second Home is the Teacher in school.

It is important that every parent has a good relationship with his/her child’s teacher, each and every one of them. Tough task indeed. As in the child’s school life a child will have atleast 13 teachers from nursery to standard tenth and then ofcourse the subject teachers!

But having a healthy relationship with each and every teacher of your child is not only essential but important. Afterall the parent and the teacher are the two most important pillars in a child’s life and if both are not in agreement with each other then definitely somewhere it will impact the child’s future.

How can parents ensure a healthy relationship with their child’s teachers? Well, since teachers day is 5^th september,  just follow the 5 simple yet effective steps given below-

1.   Have a professional not personal relationship with your child’s teacher- Inviting your child’s teacher to family functions or sharing your family politics with your child’s teacher is not good as it does not help maintain the professionalism of the relationship. Don’t get involved in the teacher’s personal problems also, like trying to find her a good match etc. The teacher is your child’s guru respect that relationship. This will help you ensure that things will never go out of hand or turn sour as it can in anything relationship that has personal overtures.

2.   Share about your child with every new teacher of your child- Yes, learn from Abraham Lincoln, and write to every teacher of your child, about what you feel are your child’s talents and what are your expectations from your child. This will give each teacher an insight into your child’s background and personality and with that will come a quiet understanding about his behaviour and ways to deal with it. Think about it, a teacher spends atleast 3 months every year just understanding the new children in her class and then there is no guarantee that she gets the right viewpoint, instead if she gets a letter from every parent it would automatically help create a bond between the teacher and the parent, for the benefit of the child.

3.   Don’t try to buy success for your child with the gifts you give to his teacher- Sad but true, many parents feel that by giving expensive gifts to their child’s teacher it  will ensure that the teacher will take good care of their child. This is not good for both the profession of teaching and the future of your child.

4.   Attend open houses- Make it a point to find time to attend the parent teacher meetings etc organised by your child’s school as the teacher has definitely worked hard and put in a lot of effort to meet you and when you do not show up, it is not only disappointing for the teacher but sadly it gives her a message that you do not care for your child. also it gives you an opportunity to meet one on one with the teacher.

5.   Never talk negative about any teacher to your child- Instilling respect in your child about his school and teacher is not only essential but necessary and when you  criticise a teacher to your child or talk about her in a derogatory manner then you are somewhere damaging your child’s rapport with his ‘guru’.

Teachers are building tomorrow’s world citizens, they are doing a truly humble and important job, let’s create better working environments for them, the foundation of which can start with a little more respect and reverence for all teachers this Teachers Day.

Here’s wishing all the teachers a wonderful Teachers Day.

Every one has a ‘hero’; someone that one looks up to to. This ‘hero’ changes with age. So when we are small, most of us look up to our dads as our hero, then our mom becomes our hero, then a teacher, then a film star, a sports star, a politician etc.

It is important to have a ‘hero’ in our life as that ‘hero’ is our role model, someone that we look up to, emulate, imitate and try to live up to.

Children especially need ‘heroes’. And your child’s personality, his/her likes and dislikes and his/her behaviour will all be shaped and influenced by who this ‘hero’ is.

Young children these days usually look at cartoon characters as their heroes, like the Ninja Turtles, or the Power Puff Girls or the latest ‘hero’ that every mother hates, Shin Chen from television. Sometimes this choice of ‘heroes’ teaches the child good things like the good work that Superman, Spiderman etc do. But some of them end up teaching the child violence, bad language, bad behaviour, rude attitudes etc, like the WWF characters. And now with the latest boxing show on one of our television channels there is serious danger that children will select these sportspersons as their ‘heroes’; and fights in school etc will be on the rise.

How can parents influence the choice of ‘heroes’ in their child’s life? Very simple, follow the five fun steps given below and you will be able to give your child good heroes to look up to for life:

1. Talk (brag!) about your heroes: Parents must share with children who their hero is and share about their attributes. Talk about how you like the bravery of Shivaji and Rani of Jhansi, the commitment to truth of Mahatma Gandhi, the intelligence of Birbal and Chanakya, and the patriotism of Lokmanya Tilak. This will make your children aware of such ‘heroes’ and will draw their attention into looking for the same attributes in their ‘heroes’. And what about our defence personnel? They are the best ‘heroes’. They are brave, fearless, and dashing too! Let’s draw our children’s attention to all these unusual heroes that they can emulate, respect, imitate and imbibe from.
2. Have a hero of the month: Ask your child to have a hero of the month and you should also have one of yours and then each one to try and talk, collect pictures, facts about their hero.
3. I have the power of 3: Give your child a challenge to select 3 ‘heroes’ every week for himself/herself. These heroes should be within the specifications given to the child by you, so you can say select 3 heroes of which one should be a female, one should be from the past and one should be a good cartoon, etc.
4. Muttering for change!: Sounds ridiculous, right? But it works. when your child is crazy about a negative ‘hero’ and you want him to change, instead of constantly nagging him to change (which will have the complete opposite effect) mutter every time you find your child looking at or doing activities connected to that hero. Mutter as if you are talking to yourself, but loud enough for the child to hear. Try it, it works!
5. Discuss-Debate And Decide: Discuss with your child why you do not like his/her ‘hero’. Debate and let your child put his/her points across. Teach your child to weigh pros and cons and then take a decision jointly about that ‘hero’.

So be consciously aware of who your child’s role model or ‘hero’ is at every stage of his/her life. Remember the ‘hero’ will influence every aspect of the child, so if you want to change your child’s behaviour then change his/her ‘hero’.

(Hero as a word has been used in the above article to mean someone great, powerful and impressive. It shouldn’t be taken to mean that we only want male role models. Hero is the above sense can be both male and female.)

 every child should have a life full of colour, lots of colours, each colour of the rainbow, so that the child gets an enriched experience of happiness, joy, celebrations, health and festivities.

as the year draws to its end, there will be many colourful occasions to share togetherness and love with our children. search for these occasions, gift children every colour in all its hues, don’t let a child’s life remain black, white or grey.

7 ways of gifting some colours and colourful experiences to  children-

1. the sparkling blue of a fresh new sky early in the morning with fluffy ‘detergent washed’ white clouds – see the joy on your child’s face.
2. the vibrant colours of the red, yellow, orange and blue of a sky with the setting sun, so many colours to find and enjoy.
3. the pink of health, so gift him a healthy diet, clean drinking water and safe hygiene habits.
4. the green of freshly watered grass and leaves, take your child to a garden with a set of crayons (the one that has 200 and more shades) and then ask your child to match each shade of green crayon to the shades in the garden
5. the rainbow of colours at a florist shop, the purples, the magenta, the whites and reds.
6. the healthy orange and green of a soothingly refreshing orange juice and palak soup.
7. the red flush on a child’s cheek after he has been tickled vigorously or when he comes home after running , skipping and playing with his friends.

seven  colours that we should never  give children-

1. ‘colourful’ words!
2. the red on a child’s cheeks after he has been scolded or slapped, never . ever, have this colour on a child’s body.
3. the red marks on his worksheet or book.
4. the brown frown on a child’s face when you ignore him/her.
5. the grey of boredom when doing boring drill work.
6. the black mood that stems from jealousy, sibling rivalry, unfulfilled expectations and being rejected and ridiculed by adults.
7. the white lack lustre mood  of a child addicted to video games and television.

colours are not only in clothes and furniture, they are in our lives in every aspect of it and the more natural colours that we will bring in our child’s life the more vibrant and colourful will we make his/her future. so begin colouring your child’s life today.

 ‘Maths is a bore’, ‘maths is difficult’, ‘maths is confusing’, are common phrases that we hear many children use often in school. Some children enjoy maths but most detest it!

Maths and the understanding of numbers is termed by many as confusing, difficult and complex and yet the world of numbers is the most simplest and easiest. What causes maths to become a monster? Simple, lack of a good grounding in mumber activities and understanding of basic concepts like addition, substraction and multiplication, when these basics are not strong then all future maths learning is affected.

The early years in the child’s life should be about marvelling about the world of numbers, the child should be made aware of numbers around him, how he does counting, addition and substraction in his everyday life, when he becomes conscious about these everyday maths activities maths will become less of a monster.

So then which are the basic foundations that are required for children to be ‘master in maths’? They are-

1. Classification – the process of grouping or sorting objects into classes or categories according to a systematic characteristic, criteria or principle.
2. Patterning – the process of creating repetitions of symbols or objects.
3. One-to-one correspondence – the process of pairing or matching items or objects, for example, one napkin for each person.
4. Ordering and sequencing – the process of ordering relationships, for example, smallest to largest or lightest to heaviest or least to most.
5. Numeration – the ability to recognize numerals and place a correct numeral with a given number of objects.  Three is a number, 3 is a numeral.
6. Measurement – the comparison of items by a standard unit.
7. Addition – the joining of sets.
8. Subtraction – the separation of sets.
9. Graphing – the process of classifying data.
10. Fractions – a method of dividing items fairly.

A good school would ensure that the child can do all of the above in the sequence given so that the foundation of maths is strong in every child.

At home every parent can also help make children aware of the numbers in every day activities.

1. Take one biscuit

2. Bring me half a glass of water

3. Let’s divide this bar of chocolate into 6 equal parts for all 6 of you

4. Lay the table and see that each plate has a spoon and a glass

5. Fold these handkerchiefs into half

6. Put all the small glasses here and the big glasses there

7. Sort your teddy bears into groups – small one, brown ones, big ones

8. Bring me the second book from the shelf

9. Count all the spoons

10. Give daddy a big bowl, give me a medium bowl and you use a small bowl

11. Lets put all the long strings here and put the short strings in the box

12. Get me three things in the house that have any numbers on them

13. While you are reading a magazine or newspaper, give your child an old one and ask him/her to circle all the numbers that he can find or circle only number 9 etc

14. While travelling in a car, let them look out of the window and shout when they see a car with a 9 in its number plate or last number is 9 or first number is 9 etc

15. While taking your older kids out for a treat, tell them that my budget for each of you is 150 now look in the menu and choose what you want to eat , but add the cost of each and it should be within 150

also when children hate maths, make them aware of how no day of theirs is complete without using maths, this is fun as numbers start appearing in the smallest everyday task and soon childen realise that we cannot live without numbers. so lets start making numbers enjoyable, start counting the hours of fun with your child!

time –

its December and one of the most important gifts that all parents should ask santa for,  is the gift of  ‘more time’! yes, we are always running short of time, no time to relax, no time to have fun and then our kids hear us always groan- ‘not now sweetheart, I don’t have time.’. well this issue may not be able to show you how to have more time for your kids, but will definitely help you spend time with your kid as you enjoy the activities in this issue and yes, it will definitely give you and your children- the time of your life!

time-

as we run around in frenzy completing our day to day tasks, we almost end up running against time and many mothers wish that children would do more things on time, waste less time etc. for children to understand the concept of time, being on time and wasting time etc it is important that they understand the concept of – time.

what is time? how do we see it? where do we see it? how do we know that time is up? are all concepts that we take for granted, but can be confusing to a preschooler.

the concept of time first begins in simple everyday rituals, because till children cannot count, it goes without saying that they will be unable to understand small hand, big hand, 2 o’clock etc. so the understanding of time starts with simple everyday rituals and routines. we will brush our teeth, then we will have milk and then we will sit for a story. children as young as 18 months can understand when you tell them a routine and infact kids love routine as it adds that much needed structure to their day and gives them things to look forward to.

singing songs to children about time, clocks etc also helps, so when its time to put toys away it helps to sing-

its time to put your toys away, toys away, toys away

its time to put your toys away. its time to end our game.

similar songs can be sung for eating, brushing teeth etc

songs and rhymes like hickory, dickory dock, help children understand about the existence of clocks and make them observe them in their environment.

then you can make a picture clock for your child which is in the shape of a clock but instead of the numbers has pictures of his daily activities in the same sequence, where number 12 usually is on the clock, paste the child’s photoand as the time comes to do that activity, mummy can put the small hand on that activity picture and the big hand on the child’s photo. so this will help your child understand the concept of looking at a clock.

the concept of time is not only about teaching how to ‘see’ time, but is also about teaching the importance of being of time, using time well and understanding that there is a special time for everything.

1. concept of being on time- extremely essential, and child will learn but looking at you and your habits, so be punctual!

2. using time well- here using visible items like a sand timer helps so that children can see time passing and know that little time is left to complete the activity etc

3. special time for everything- just like schools have a timetable it is important that mothers make a timetable for home and help the child display it in the room, this helps children understand routine, structure and time management!

it’s time to try out these activities with your child, we guarantee that you will have the time of your life!

What do fruits give us? Most mothers are not able to answer this basic question in their minds and so either don’t eat fruits themselves or don’t insist that their kids do so too.

Fruits are extremely essential in our diet and each fruit has something to contribute to our health. And there is a reason why some fruits only come in a particular season. So don’t go for marketing gimmicks and end up eating mangoes in December etc as definitely some chemicals must have been involved to give you mangoes off season!

For those mothers whose kids say yuck, the minute you mention the name of a fruit, I would suggest give funky names to the fruit before serving it to the child and always cut the fruit differently, and then see your child eat the same fruit for 5 days but with a different shape and name!

Children love songs and when a puppet sings them, its all the more fun, so make your fruit a puppet by making him sing and dance and then see your kids want to reach out and munch the fruit! 

Some Do’s to make fruits fun for kids-

1. Give the fruit a funky name- so instead of apple say ‘abby dabby doo doo’.
2. Give it a funky look- cut with a jagged edge knife or cut slices instead of dicing etc
3. Mix two fruits together for colour effect
4. Don’t give fruits after a meal as kids would be too full. Nutritive value of fruits is best absorbed by the body when eaten atleast an hour before a meal.
5. Eat the fruit with your kids, kids learn by imitation so the more they see you enjoy, the more they will enjoy and want it too.

Some Don’t’s about fruit fun for kids-

1. Don’t make fruits a forced feeding for kids- ‘have your fruits or I will not give you your toy’ – avoid doing this.
2. Never add salt, or sugar or any salty or sweet additives to make fruits more acceptable for kids, this will only add more salt and sugar content in their diet and will take away the nutritive value of fruits, not to mention the deadly effect on their teeth!
3. Fruit juice and cut fruits are different, see that your child gets both.
4. Packaged fruit or fruit juice is not nutritive at all, don’t go for any tall claims made by the company selling them
5. Never give your child cold fruits to eat , let the fruit be room temperature.

Know more about your common fruit-

1. Papaya- has papain that helps digest proteins
2. Banana has calcium, good for the bones
3. Apple- latest research shows that apple is good for the brain! regularly munching on apples can boost our brainpower and even fight off age related brain damage. It is thought that the antioxidants in the fruit help to keep key neurons alive and the juice seems to prevent a decline in brain functioning by maintaining acetylcholine, a vital neurochemical.
4. Orange- has vitamin c keeps you away from colds
5. Pear- it is an antioxidant and prevents constipation
6. Grapes- help good blood flow and keeps blood vessels relaxed
7. Mango- excellent for toning up heart muscles and improves skin 

      texture

8. Strawberry- it is good for immune system
9. Guava- it prevents cancer and heart diseases
10. Watermelon- it helps control blood pressure.