Its Time for a Seperate Ministry for Early Childhood Care & Education

EARLY CHILDHOOD CARE AND EDUCATION: WHERE INDIA STANDS

Swati Popat Vats (ecaorg@yahoo.com) www.eca-india.org

ECCE whose baby are we? Women and child welfare ministry? Education department? Human resource ministry? Meet Early Childhood Care and Education the stepchild of the education department and fiscal budget.

The big ECCE crossroad-

ECCE is caught between our emotions and our intellect. ECCE holds a unique position in education and exploiting its qualities is the optimal tool for leveraging its potential for the success of this country’s children and future citizens.

The power of ECCE-

The early childhood years is when a child is developing the potential to think rationally, persist in the face of challenge, use language adeptly, suppress impulse, regulate emotion, respond sympathetically to others’ distress, and cooperate with peers.   These skills will help them in the later years in acquiring the cognitive and social skills essential for becoming productive members of our society. 

Why there is confusion in ‘whose child’ is ECCE?

Because ECCE includes a two-tier organization of services, “child care” for the younger children and “pre-primary education” for the 3- to 6-year-olds. The problem till date is that the entire focus of the WCWM has been taken up with childcare and rightly so as mal nutrition and health issues are many. But that leaves the education part completely ignored, so even in the ICDS programs the health and nutrition aspect is kind of worked out but the education aspect is where the centers lack proper infrastructure, learning equipment, toys, teacher training and training of supervisors.  Experience shows that greater progress is made when a central vision is put at the center of ECEC policy, and a dedicated ministry nominated to translate this vision into reality. 

Situation of ECCE in India-

India is a signatory to both the Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) 1989 and Education for All (EFA) 1990. The latter has postulated ECCE as the very first goal to be achieved for Education for all, since „learning begins at birth‟.   The Dakar Framework for Action (2000) and Moscow Framework for Action (2010) have reaffirmed the commitment to ECCE.

Of the 158.7 million children in the below six years category (Census 2011), about 75.7 million children i.e. 48 percent are reported to be covered under the ICDS (MWCD, 2011). Broad estimations indicate that a significant number is also covered by the private sector, besides some limited coverage by the NGO sector for which we have no data.

The Government of India recognizes the significance of ECCE, in the following ways,

·         Included as a   constitutional provision through the amended Article 45  (The Constitution Act, 2002) that directs that “The State shall Endeavour to provide ECCE for all children until they complete the age of six years”.

·         In the National Policy for Children (1974), consequent to which the Integrated Child Development Services (ICDS) was initiated on a pilot basis in 1975 (objective of laying the foundation for holistic and integrated development of child and building capabilities of caregivers).

·         The National Policy on Education (1986) considers ECCE to be a critical input for human development.

·         The National Nutrition Policy (1993) has also recommended interventions for childcare and nutrition during early childhood.

·         The National Health Policy (2002) and National Plan of Action for Children (2005) have also been supportive policy initiatives for early childhood.  

·         The  11th   Five  Year  Plan  has  acknowledged  the  importance  of  Early Childhood Care and Education (ECCE) as the stage that lays the foundation for life-long development and the realization of a child’s  full potential and directs that “all children be provided at least one year of preschool education in the age group of 3-6 years.” I

·         The Right of Children to Free and Compulsory Education Act (RTE) which came into effect from April  1, 2010, has also addressed ECCE under Section 11 of the Act which states, “with a view to  prepare children above the age of three years for elementary  education  and  to  provide  early  childhood  care  and  education  for  all children until they complete the age of six years, the appropriate Government may make  necessary  arrangement  for  providing  free  pre  -school  education  for  such children”.

So how does the Indian government take care of its littlest citizens?

ECCE services are delivered through public, private, and non-governmental channels.

In the public sector, Integrated Child Development Services (ICDS) is the world’s largest programme imparting ECCE. Sarva Shiksha Abhiyan (SSA) and National Programme for Education of Girls at Elementary Level (NPEGEL) have also supported setting up of ECCE centers, attached to primary schools the Rajiv Gandhi National Crèche Scheme for Working Mothers offers care and education services for children below 6 years of age.

The  private  sector  in  an  organized  or  unorganized  form,  with  varied quality,  is perhaps, the  second largest service provider of ECCE, and its outreach is steadily percolating even into the rural areas across the country.  In the voluntary sector, there are smaller scale initiatives.          Trusts, societies, religious groups, or international funding agencies largely support these.

So if India recognizes its commitment to ECCE, then what is wrong?

After more than 65 years of independence we have no defined, documented policy in ECCE, no curriculum framework for ECE centers and no qualifications specified for ECCE teachers. The quality of non formal preschool/ early childhood care and education imparted through these multiple channels is uneven, and varies from a minimalist approach to a mushrooming of accelerated academic programmes.  This is largely an outcome of inadequate understanding of the concept of ECCE, its philosophy, and importance among all stakeholders. This coupled with inadequate institutional capacity in the system and an absence of standards, regulatory norms,, and mechanisms as well as a lack of understanding of the basic premises of ECCE has aggravated the problem.

But we have a draft policy…

Policy? What policy? This whole Policy is just a vision document, a collection of correctly worded sentences. So then is a policy just supposed to be a vision document? Or is it supposed to outline a strategy and/a course of action? Will this policy go to the parliament to be turned to a bill?  If this is the procedure for passing a bill, then should not this policy be spelled out concretely?

Present policy is more of a vision than a policy document as it just lists what the government would like to do and not how and by when would it do it.

·         The ICDS Anganwadi Centre (AWC) would be repositioned as…

·         Family based/ Community based and NGO based ECCE service delivery model would be experimented and promoted….

·         To ensure universal access to integrated child development opportunities for all young children, the policy may support the option of ICDS complementing the private sector/voluntary sector programmes…

·         Linkage with primary school system will be streamlined…

·         To standardize the quality of ECCE available to children, basic Quality Standards and Specifications will be laid down….

·         A Regulatory Framework for ECCE to ensure basic quality inputs  and  outcomes,   across  all  service  providers/  sectors  undertaking  such services, will be progressively developed/ evolved at the national level and shall be implemented by states, with appropriate customization, in the next five years.

·         A developmentally appropriate National Curriculum Framework for ECCE will be developed

·         and continuous child assessment would also be explored

·         The policy envisages the establishment of an ECCE Cell / Division within MWCD as a nodal agency  for interface

Sadly the earlier “rich” policies have not been consulted (Kothari Commission, Yashpal Report and the NCERT document especially designed for early childhood set-up’s), and the current issues like franchises, “internationalization” are not addressed at all.  The draft policy is more about ICDS and makes a distinction between ICDS and private set ups, why? Aren’t children the same? Aren’t their developmental needs the same? Then why this distinction?  The non-negotiable of course will be the same, but will quality is the same for all or will the policy define different parameters for private and government? If parameters will be the same then the ICDS program will have to be upgraded to become a model for all to emulate and implement. What is the plan for that? 

How does our vision policy compare to the world?

Most countries have the following defined-

1.      A National Quality Framework includes: a national legislative framework that consists of: the Education and Care Services National Law (‘National Law’) the Education and Care Services National Regulations (‘National Regulations’)

2.     a National Quality Standard consisting of seven Quality Areas: Educational program and practice

·         Children’s health and safety

·         Physical environment

·         Staffing arrangements

·         Relationships with children

·         Collaborative partnerships with families and communities

·         Leadership and service management.

·          

3.     A national quality rating and assessment process through which services are assessed against the National Quality Standard by Regulatory Authorities and provided with a rating from one of the five rating levels.

4.     A Regulatory Authority in each state and territory who have primary responsibility for the approval, monitoring and quality assessment of services in their jurisdiction in accordance with the national legislative framework and in relation to the National Quality Standard

5.     A national body—to oversee the system and guide its implementation in a nationally consistent way.

How did these countries achieve this? How have these countries worked on their ecce policy?

ORGANIZATION FOR ECONOMIC CO-OPERATION AND DEVELOPMENT- OECD is a unique forum where the governments of 30 democracies work together. The OECD member countries are: Australia, Austria, Belgium, Canada, the Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Ireland, Italy, Japan, Korea, Luxembourg, Mexico, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Poland, Portugal, the Slovak Republic, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey, the United Kingdom and the United States. 

The OECD Education Committee is a forum for the Education Ministries of the OECD countries. The Committee meets at OECD headquarters twice a year to discuss education policy and issues. Visits and the reports from the review can be viewed on the project Web site: www.oecd.org/edu/earlychildhood

All these member countries have strengthened their early childhood policies, quality frameworks, and curriculum guidelines by working together and pooling their research and draft models. Why is India not part of the OECD?

I am not saying that only the countries part of this group have policies and frameworks, Mauritius, Singapore, Republic of Dominica are not represented in this group but have strong policy document, curriculum framework and quality standards. World over most of the countries have an ECCE policy, ECCE curriculum framework, ECCE quality documents in place, then why are we reinventing the wheel? Why not study the best and then work out what best suits our set ups in India?

What is happening world over in ECCE?

·         Research

·         Fee subsidy to parents by government

·         National ECCE policy documents

World Research in ECCE-

One only needs to read the following research documents to prepare a strong policy document and create awareness among all stakeholders in ECCE.

·         From Neurons to Neighborhoods (Shonkoff & Phillips, 2000),

·         Starting Points: Meeting the Needs of Our Youngest Children (Carnegie Corporation, 1994),

·         the Reversing the Real Brain Drain: Early Years Study (McCain & Mustard, 1999),

·         Starting Strong: Early Childhood Education and Care (OECD,2001), and the

·         the OECD Thematic Review of Early Childhood Education and Care Policy: Australian Background Report (Press & Hayes, 2000), to refocus interest in the role of early childhood programs to optimize child wellbeing, transition to school  and later schooling outcomes.

Fees –

World over most countries subsidize the fees for early care and education. In India, the state instead of taking a strong role and responsibility in helping parents with the costs of early care and education is asking centers to curb their fees without having a calculation of costs involved. So centers are cutting costs on essentials like teacher salaries, ongoing assessments, ongoing teacher training and learning aids. This is leading to low grade early childhood programs that harm more than help. Around the world, Families ineligible for child care subsidies and/or whose children attend non-government preschools or kindergartens usually pay substantial fees for these childhood services. In New South Wales for example, fees in preschools not attached to Public schools start at about $30 to $40 per day. Childcare center fees start at about $60 to $70 per day. Before-and-after-school care fees start at about $20 per day. The government does not dictate the fees of private set ups.

Do our policy makers understand the importance of investing in early childhood care and education?

In America President Obama visited Kindergartens, spent time building blocks with kids and even addressed the teachers. When was the last time our ministers, heads of states visited kindergartens? President Obama's new initiative "Preschool for all” under which all four-year-olds in low- and moderate-income families will have access to high-quality pre-kindergarten programs has furthered their commitment that they would rather invest in preschools than in prisons. - "We just might have a rare chance in the next couple of months to take steps toward such a landmark early childhood program in America.  But children can't vote, and they have no highly paid lobbyist - so it'll happen only if we, the public, speak up."

In India, children are not the vote bank of political parties and so no one is worried about them till they turn 18 and are able to vote then all the political parties suddenly think about taking care of their health, education and do not realize that it is too late as many would have already been affected by lack of education, drug habits, juvenile issues, remedial needs etc.

So why is the world investing in early childhood and not India?

World over countries benefit economically from investing in early childhood education and care, how? The major reported cost benefits of strong, responsive and early childhood intervention services are

1.     Increased tax revenues and – higher employment rates, associated tax contributions.

2.     Accompanying reductions in welfare expenditure- less reliance on unemployment or welfare benefits.

3.     Mothers able to take advantage of preschool care are more likely to gain employment, thus further increasing tax revenue and decreasing welfare dependence.

4.     Another area of reduced expenditure is in education for example, less grade repetition and fewer special education placements. 

5.     The final major area of reduced costs is in lower criminal justice system costs, including reduced arrest rates and court and detention expenses. 

Most of these except point one are not applicable in India so why should India invest in early childhood care and education?

Teacher qualifications have been given the least importance in our draft policy-

One of the non-negotiable given in the draft policy document is, ‘Adequate trained staff should be appointed’, what is adequate? And trained? Or should it be qualified, trained staff and a specific number should be outlined per class size?

What is wrong with this statement- qualified early childhood teacher. Isn’t it an oxymoron? A teacher has to be qualified!

Teacher qualification and base level salaries need to be defined other changes will fall into place- minimum qualification-minimum wages. Qualifications of child care (day care, crèche) and child education (kindergarten/preschool) to be different and defined.

Parent education is another ignored area in our draft policy-

Most children spend the first 3 years of their life with their parents before enrolling for any early childhood program and yet our policy document has very little stated for parent education-

So why is parent education important?

The evidence from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) in the United States of America bears this out, as does the Effective Provision of Pre-school Education (EPPE) Project in the United Kingdom. Both studies demonstrate the contributions that high-quality child care and preschool education, respectively, can make to children’s language and cognitive development during the early years. In both studies, parent and family characteristics are, however, stronger determinants than the early childhood programs, per se. The combination of family and community, working in synergy, powerfully determines outcomes. 

How can parent education about ECCE be achieved?-

In the Republic of Dominica, the Ministry of Education and Human resource Development sees parents as central stakeholders in ECD. 

The Ministry of Education has the following commitment towards parents -

• Conduct ongoing public education on the value of ECD and access to licensed programmes and centers.

• expose young people to parenting information through the Health and Family Life Education programmes at schools and collaborate with other Ministries for example, Ministry of Health in providing parenting programmes
• Support the strengthening of the National Parenting Association to spearhead public and parent education and participation in Early Childhood Development.
• Co-opt relevant and qualified individuals to assist in the development and delivery of ECD parenting programmes. 
• Encourage early childhood centers to actively engage parents in the understanding and support for ECD learning and development.

National curriculum framework-

What research base? Which educational philosophies and approaches will be combined to create our curriculum framework? There have been no research projects like the Perry Preschool Project (USA) to understand what would be the best combination of educational approaches that would work for Indian early childhood centers.

World over-

Some programs are closely linked to century-old traditions based on the ideas of Fredrick Froebel, Maria Montessori, or Rudolf Steiner; others draw on more contemporary ideas such as those emerging from the Reggio Emilia region of Italy, now known as the ‘Reggio’ approach. But most early childhood programs follow an eclectic approach informed by Froebelian traditions and newer notions of ‘Developmentally Appropriate Practice’ first promoted by the US-based National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) in the early 1980s (NAEYC, 1982).

It’s time to invest in kindergartens- the rich become richer the poor become poorer. The other brain drain-

The kindergarten child is still within the age range during which the brain is highly sensitive to educational intervention (Nelson 2000). The vast differences in the early experiences of a child in the ICDS program and a private program make it unlikely that the two children will ever perform equivalently in school and later employment arena.   A strong bond with an encouraging adult (perhaps a teacher) and community resources (such as excellent schools) are sources of resilience.  They fortify at-risk children such as those in poverty ridden areas with inner strengths that enable them to bounce back from negative experiences (Masten & Reed 2002). Isn’t it is easier to bring up strong children than to rebuild broken men?

Let’s invest in our littlest citizens, our human resource-

If we don’t stand up for children, then we don’t stand for much. (Marian Wright Edelman) and sadly in our country no one stands up for children when it comes to government policies, party manifesto, or budget allocation. Without adequate policies and laws to define care and quality, early childhood care and education will not have the due impact and reach that is required for every child.   Children may be 25% of our present but they are 100% our future, then why do we have different and varied laws and policies around the country for early childhood care and education? Why do some children get the investment they require and some don’t?

1.     The terms care, education, development, early childhood care, and education, early childhood center should be clearly defined in the document for clarity in all diverse settings.

2.     The lead ministry for early care and early education to be defined to ensure equal focus on both care and education.

3.     Age specified in the document varies from 0-3, 0-6, and 0-8 we suggest that a standard age group of prenatal to 8 years to be maintained for the policy.

4.     The Objectives of ECCE need to be included.

5.     RTE guidelines to be matched with the policy guidelines for continuity and transition to primary. Entrance to standard one to be 6 years completion and not 5 years as it presently is for CBSE schools.

6.     Ideal minimum standards to be specified for implementation nationwide.

7.     To reach out to diverse early childhood settings like ICDS, anganwadis, private preschools, daycare centers, mother toddler programs it would be recommended that instead of referring and mentioning only  ICDS in various aspects in the policy a common terminology such as early childhood settings or ECCE  to be used. 

8.     Teacher training is not emphasized in the document. A minimum qualification, curriculum, and age standard should be specified. Training should be comprehensive including first aid and inclusion.

9.     Teacher child ratio to be proportionate to the age of the child. We recommend,

·         birth to 1 ½ = 1:5

·         1 ½ to 3 = 1:10

·         3 to 6= 1:20

·         6 to 8= 1:25

10.  DAP (developmentally appropriate practice) needs to be defined in the policy (reference ww.naeyc.org). Avoid ‘schoolification’ of early childhood education.

11.  Budget for early childhood education and care in India should be increased to be on par with other countries like Malaysia, Singapore etc.

12.  Parent education to be given due importance.

13.  The model of ICDS anganwadis to be reworked completely to become the quality model that the government wants others to follow.

14.  The private sector is presently leading in curriculum, quality etc. in many areas so to include a private-government partnership.

15.  Please have participation of the various early childhood associations, early childhood experts in India and make them an integral part of the development of our ECCE policy, quality regulations, and curriculum framework.

 All the stakeholders in ECCE need to know who they are, what their role is, and what the goals for ECCE are.  Without this clarity of purpose, kindergarten risks being driven off course by the winds that periodically blow through the education establishment.  More purposeful advocacy for kindergarten must articulate its historical strengths and potential contributions to children.  Kindergarten is too important not to protect and nurture.

References-

·         National Childcare Accreditation Council (NCAC), see www.ncac.gov.au

·         National Standards for Centre-based Long Day Care (see Department of Family and Community Services (FACS) www.facs.gov.au)

·         Early Years Learning Framework and the Framework for School Age Care are available from the ACECQA website (www.acecqa.gov.au) as well as a range of other resources for educators and families.

·         "Do We Invest in Preschools or Prisons? <http://mail.ccie.com/go/eed/10617>“

·         From Neurons to Neighborhoods: The Science of Early Childhood Development (Shonkoff & Phillips, 2000)

·         http://www.educate.ece.govt.nz/learning/curriculumAndLearning/TeWhariki.aspx

·         and any other that we may have overlooked to mention here, please get in touch with us on ecaorg@yahoo.com and we will look into the oversight.

Losing Sleep Over It

Nothing compares to cuddling your child in bed, but sleep-sharing comes with its own set of dangers

To some parents, it's the most natural thing in the world. To others, it is an intimacy killer. Bed sharing is a Western debate that seems to have piqued interest in India. With changing lifestyles and plenty of global parenting information available, most Indian parents feel caught between culture and change.Recently, a sensitive survey on parents sharing their bed with children was conducted by parenting website Born Smart in Mumbai, Bangalore, Chennai, Jaipur and Pune. Almost 68 per cent of the families in the survey were nuclear and lived in houses with two or more bedrooms. In 78 per cent of the cases, kids shared beds with their parents. This underlines the fact that space alone is not the reason for co-sleeping.
Most (75 per cent) agreed that co-sleeping had affected their physical relationship as a couple.Maximum mothers felt that the bond with their husbands had suffered. They confessed that their children and spouses were bearing the brunt of their frustration. About 24 per cent parents admitted that they refrained from sex once the baby was born. To curb frustration, many husbands said they had taken to clubbing and drinking.“Parents must never for get that they are husband and wife first.When couples give less importance to their relationship, the stress and trauma is felt by all concerned, including the children,“ says educational activist and parenting guru Swati Popat Vats.
Parents who have no intention of sleep sharing often end up doing so when they find that it's the only way their baby will snooze.“Much research shows the benefits of babies being close to their parents, especially their mother. In the womb, they will have synchronised their heart beat, breathing and sleeping patterns with them, so once in the big wide world outside, this needs to continue for some time in order for them to feel safe, and extend to the father, too,“ says the UK based Jane Evans, author and trauma parenting and child behaviour specialist.
A majority of parents didn't want their child to sleep separately as they feared the kid would choke, fall or cry.
Ironically, the American Academy of Paediatrics recom mends against sleep-sharing due to SIDS and possible cot death. Studies at Erasmus University Rotterdam in the Netherlands show that there is an association between toddlers who share a bed with their parents at the age of two years and wheezing and asthma in later childhood.
THE DARKER SIDE
In her 31 years of research in early childhood, Vats has come across many cases where children were found `playing' with other peoples' genitals or `playing dirty games', and in many cases it was an imitation of what they had seen.“Parents feel that children are sleeping when they indulge in the physical act. Many children are light sleepers and those images seen in half sleep can have a long-term impact on the child. Previously, the culprit was the joint family, but now with more nuclear families, this shouldn't be the case. Maybe our culture still does not accept that a mother can make a child sleep separately,“ says Vats. The parenting guru believes that if parents receive the right guidance on how to wean off their children, then many couples would be able to rediscover intimacy. This would also result in less parenting stress.
“If co-sleeping is a family decision, parents must discuss and set themselves some clear boundaries and expectations around their intimacy as a couple and what they expose their child to. They must be made aware that this will have an impact on the child's development,“ says Evans.
THE RIGHT TIME
Parents should know that they can love and cherish their child without co-sleeping with them. For infants, moving into a crib that is kept near the bed or in the same room helps the weaning process. This way, breast feeding or rocking the child to sleep is easy. Once the baby outgrows the crib, move them to their own bed with devices such as baby monitors to keep a watch. Sonali Gupta, clinical psychologist at Chembur's Sushrut Hospital, believes we must wean off kids between the ages of two-and-a-half and three. “Start with afternoon naps and slowly transition to night sleeps but if the child is not emotionally ready, don't force it on him or her. It could have a negative impact,“ she says. Some educational organisations in Mumbai organise sleepovers for kindergarten students at school with food and fun exercises to help initiate the process of sleeping away from parents.“Kids are smart at picking up anxiety, so if either of you is anxious about letting them sleep alone, they will latch on to co-sleeping,“ warns Gupta. However, if children experience nightmares after they start sleeping on their own, the issue must be dealt with professionally.

Learning about God and Religion. What is the best way for parents to educate their children?

 Religion should ideally be learnt by ‘watching and participating’ with family members. That is why most religions have a baptism or name ceremony etc. early in life. This is the child’s first initiation into the customs of the religion and usually these are held in places of worship or conducted by priests. Religion like other important learning should be ‘known to unknown’ so the idea of religion should be given to children from the safe haven of ‘laps, hugs, bed time stories, celebrations’ etc.

Religion is understood in three ways by young minds, so be careful of what they are associating religion with, best to give kids a balanced view and perspective -

1.    Religion as a custom and tradition- so kids learn to touch feet of elders or do namaz or go to a temple and do aarti or light a candle etc.

2.    Religion as a moral police- kids learn about ‘God’ as the biggest ‘policeman’ so do not lie or god will be angry, or you will go to hell or heaven.

3.    Religion as a celebration- here kids look at the celebration aspect of the religion, so the festivals means social gatherings, material gains, food, money, and sometimes helping others as part of the celebration.

Religion and how a child is taught about religion can have a profound impact on the child’s view of the world and ability to respect others view points.

·      Positive impact of religion if taught correctly- then children grow up with a conscience, first governed by ‘pleasing god’ and then internalizing the process and making it a part of life and behavior.

·      If not taught correctly- then children grow up with biases against other religions, labeling others based on their religion. This can end up negatively impacting their life decisions both socially and emotionally. It can make them tyrants or bullies against people of another religion because they were brought up to think of them as bad. It can make them less empathetic and sympathetic towards people from these religions and can mar their ability to make friends, take wise decisions in life and even in their careers and jobs. It adds to the making the world a less tolerant place and will then lead to more religious terrorism.

Here are 8 simple things that parents should do to raise children that will grow up with a healthy attitude towards religion.

1.    Do not enroll kids in a school or educational institution that believes or practices only one religion. Even if it is your own.  This makes kids less tolerant and knowledgeable about other religions. Put them in religion classes if you want after school or Sunday school or Koran school.

2.    Expose kids to all faiths by telling them stories from all religions. The best way to do that is to celebrate all festivals that schools give as a holiday. Talk about the holiday, what festival is it, which religion celebrates it, how they celebrate it, why they celebrate, how it has evolved over the years and maybe a story related to the same. This will give children a healthy attitude towards all religions, cultures and celebrations and some basic knowledge about different gods and customs.

3.    Be careful about the myths and superstitions, as they should not be passed down, nor are they part of any religious texts.

4.    If you do not want the child to visit other religious places other than your own then make it clear to your child with the reason at the age that the child can understand. Till then make the rule clear to the adults taking care of the child.

5.    Do not use religion to create boundaries or teach morals or scare children into behaving. God should not be used for such things. When you use it like that with children then it can manifest itself as religious terrorism in adulthood. After all you used religion to terrorize into behaving then the learning will be used by children when they grow up to be young adults.

6.    As children become old enough to use social networking sites teach them not to ridicule, laugh, criticize any religion or comment or participate in any unhealthy posts, likes or forwards to do with religion. Religion is a private matter of the individual and the family and we should respect points of view.

7.    If both parents practice different religions then it is best that the child is exposed equally to both religions. Best if each parent or grandparent takes up the responsibility for their religion so as to give the child the right perspective and balance of both.

8.    Do not generalize based on religion, especially during family debates and discussions. We have a habit to even categorize and label animals, we say sly as a wolf etc. lets leave it to that. Let us not label a Hindu as this or a Muslim as that. Children must know that every Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Jew, Sikh etc. is different and just because one has made a mistake it does not mean the entire sect should be labeled.

 Parts of the above article have also been featured in a Mumbai Mirror article ‘Talking God’ by Nasrin Modak-Siddiqi, check it out on http://epaperbeta.timesofindia.com/Article.aspx?eid=31821&articlexml=Talking-God-03062015026016

We need to make children netizens!

The internet and social media sites are here to stay and we have two choices, crib, complain and watch as our children become victims of it or take things in our hands and prepare our children to become safe and secure users. When people started using cars we prepared our children about road and traffic safety, so similarly for any new aspect in our lives we need to prepare our children and make them aware of the good and the bad.

It starts with how our children see us using the Internet and social media sites. When parents use social media they should talk about it in conversations that include comments like- “I got an invite or poke from so and so and I did not accept as I was not sure about the identity and want to be safe.” “ I don’t think I will post this photo as I feel it is a little personal and I don’t want to share it with the whole world” when children hear and see us being safe rather than casual then it translates into their own behavior and choices.

Teenagers especially are vulnerable to social media sites. It is the age and stage of development of self identify, how they see themselves.  And teenagers see and judge themselves from what their peer circle thinks about them. So pressure is on how many friends, likes, pokes, posts etc. they have had, this makes them reckless about whom they make friends with and what they post. The teenager brain is at the final stage of developing impulse control and so they still, ‘act first and think later’. Make simple rules for them for their social media use-

1.     You will not share your date of birth, address and phone number or email id.

2.     You will not post personal photos, the definition being no cleavage, bare chest (for boys of course!) or photos that look sultry rather than fun.

3.     You will not post your daily schedule.

4.     Think before you bare your emotions on social media, people are just reading, and forwarding, so if you have issues discuss with your family.

5.     Just like there are predators on the street and when you were young we taught you not to talk to strangers or take things from them or go anywhere with them, similarly for social media we are telling you not to make friends with someone you do not know, do not give them any photos or information if they ask and do not visit any sites if they ask you. There are predators on the net too.

Another thing is to discuss Internet related crimes during healthy discussions in the family rather than adopt an attitude of ‘I told you so’. So when such crimes of identity theft or cyber kidnapping are reported in the media, turn it into a healthy thinking brain discussion with points like- ‘what do you think went wrong and made things easy for this predator? ‘how would you have avoided falling into a trap like this’? This will help your teenager take charge of decision-making and you would have equipped him/her to take thought-through decisions.

Do not spy on your teenager. Ever. A mother recently came to me for parenting guidance and she broke down and shared that to know what her son is doing on Facebook she created a false profile of hers as a teenage girl and then friended her own son. Now she is worried, as she fears the son will find out it is her and then she does not know how to handle the emotional breakdown that will follow. My advice to her, admit it to your son and say I know what I did was wrong. Because if the son finds out it will lead not only to an emotional breakdown but the most important attachment-relationship based on trust will be destroyed for her son. Our relationships define us, our personality and when the most trusted relationship in the world betrays you, you feel a sense of loss so great that you are left with only two ways to react, retaliate, or go into depression.

It is important that our children grow up as netizens and understand both Facebook and face-to-face, they tweet and also have conversations, they whatsapp and discuss and not just forward videos, they post photos on instagram that are not only fun but relevant too. Yes, it is important to help our teenagers understand that it is called social media for a reason, as it is about society and how individuals together can build a healthy society on social media. It is important that we are able to give them that important message that social media may be free but it has to be enjoyed like everything in life within defined boundaries if we want it to make us happy. 

Board Exams And The Teenager Brain

Supporting your young teenager during the ‘tussle’ of board exams and cricket world cup fever…

By the time the child appears for the 10^th or the 12^th board the child is now a young adult and literacy is not the goal but complete education. So by this age your youngster would have inculcated certain required life skills like focus, concentration, and ability to stay away from distractions. The human brain goes through two phases of intense development, one stage is the period between birth and 6 years and the next stage is when the thinking brain or the executive brain develops and this is rapid between the age of 11 to 21 and beyond.

The thinking brain is that part of the brain called the prefrontal cortex and it is the only difference between the apes and us! So the thinking brain can perform and should perform executive brain functions, it is called executive because these are functions that youth will require in their career and life. So impulse control, ability to defer gratification, self-regulation all come under this category of executive brain functions. And these will all be tested because the board exams are clashing with the World Cup matches.

So now is the right time to test if your child is ready for executive brain functions and has his/her upbringing and education helped nurture his/her  brain or just their memory! With the cricket fever at its highest pitch will it impact your child’s learning, performance or will you and your child be able to swing this problem like  a googli and strike a six for performance?

·         So the child knows that there will be important matches during a particular exam- prepare ahead- plan ahead, study ahead.

·         The temptation to watch the match will be there- have self control- self-regulation and maybe decide that the child can take 15 breaks of his/her choice.

·         The child has his/her mobile phone, internet and will be tempted to cheat and watch it on that while showing you that he/she is studying well, tell the child ahead of time that this is also the test of his/her ‘smart brain’ – impulse control the ability to defer gratification which means to know that something is available within easy reach but to not take it because you care for your own success.

·         Remember there will be many world cups but this is your only chance to win the board exams. If young children’s executive brains understand this then the motivation to score well in spite of the matches will be an intrinsic goal and not have to be monitored by parents and schools.

So is your child equipped with executive brain functions? Time to examine your youngster’s  ‘brain feed’ to check if it is brain antagonistic or brain relevant.

Parents want smart children and teachers want smart learners. Then if the aim is same lets focus on that body organ that can achieve this goal for us- the brain. All learning and memory is in the correct functioning of the brain. Did you know that the brain can be taught to learn? And did you know that during exam time there are certain practices that can actually destroy the learning and memory capacity of the brain? These are called brain antagonistic practices.

So lets understand how to ‘brain feed’ and how the brain can be taught to learn. It is called RAD learning.

R= Reticular activating system, A= amygdala and D= Dopamine

Reticular activating system simply means stimulus for the eyes, the less stimulus for the eyes the more they will droop, blink, and faze out, unable to concentrate, unable to focus. So, it is important during learning and exam time to use flash cards to revise, these flashcards can have relevant paragraphs, diagrams and acronyms. As each flash card changes the retina gets its stimulation and the reticular activating system sends positive stimulus to the brain. These days there are many apps available that also help them do this in a jiffy. studyBlue is a fantastic app that allows kids to prepare memory cards from their notes to test themselves, it also helps them see 30 of the top cards created by others and helps them compete with peers and check scores. cheggFlashcards, another app also has similar features

Amygdala is a small almond shaped part in our brain. It is on the left and right brain and it is the emotional checkpoint of the brain. All information, stimulus, learning that we receive through any of our senses has to pass through the amygdala. So it is like a security check of our brain. The minute it perceives any danger, threat or stress then the amygdala shuts the brain down immediately and then the brain triggers the primitive brain that can have only 3 reactions- Fight, Flight or Freeze. Flight means you want to flee from the situation at any cost, you don’t want to face it. Children will fake illness, cry, and fall sick to avoid exams if stressed out. Fight means resorting to aggression, violence against others or oneself to avoid facing the situation. Taking drugs, cheating, not wanting to appear for exams, running away from home, reaching school late are all signs of fight behavior and the last is freeze- also called brain fog- wherein everything that the brain knew is suddenly not recognized or remembered. The child just freezes unable to speak, think, understand, or react.

To avoid brain shut down, the amygdala needs to be deactivated during exam days, and this can be done in a variety of ways-

a.     Chamomile tea is good and calming, mothers should drink it! Because a calm mother will automatically calm the child.

b.    Avoid ‘hyperness’ creating words or facial expressions or tone of voice when referring to study time or exams. The amygdala will catch on and send the brain for a shutdown.

c.     Help children do deep breathing, yoga during exam days. Avoid foods with high salt and sugar content.

d.    Take brain breaks during studies. Important that the brain takes a break every hour for at least 15 minutes of maybe TV time, or just simple relaxing.

Dopamine- it is a chemical that the brain thrives on. Most drugs taken by drug addicts have a high content of dopamine. No we are not asking you to give drugs to your child. Dopamine is naturally released in our brains when we are happy and positive. So if you do what is given above then it does not trigger amygdala but instead triggers dopamine in the brain which will help your child’s brain become alert and focused which means better learning, retention and memory. All leading  to exam success.

So RAD learning is the secret ‘brain feed’ for every child during exam time. It does not cost much but its impact is on the emotional and cognitive health of your child.

RAD learning is a brain compatible practice every family should adopt during exams. After brain antagonistic practices will destroy the very organ that is required during exams. It would be like ‘running out’ your own team player!

If parents want their teenager to become a smart adult then it is time for parents to appeal to the teenage brain and for more such ideas check the work of Elkhonon Goldberg,(wikipedia) on www.sharpbrains.com

Keeping Children Safe During Holi

Here are some tips from Shalini Ahuja of www.safebaby.in  to keep our children safe this festival season:

Adult supervision at all times is important. Do not leave children alone.
Educate children, friends and family on using safe, non-toxic colours.
Since the floor will be wet, instruct children to be careful while walking or running.
Water balloons should be avoided.
Water balloons and pichkaari should be used away from the face, especially the eyes and ears.
If you have to travel on Holi, make sure that the windows of the car are closed so that balloons/ colours are blocked from coming in.
Make sure the driver is not under the influence of ‘bhaang’ or alcohol. Surveys have shown that road accidents increase by 30-40 percent during Holi, so please drive carefully.
Safe Baby recommends using gel colours instead of powder colours to protect the skin since they are easy to remove. Also, gel colours do not get blown into the eyes of young children.
Do not let children put any colours in the mouth.
If colour goes in your or your child’s eye, wash with plenty of water and do not rub the eye. 
If a large drum is used to store water for Holi, make sure children do not lean into the bucket. Being head heavy young children can fall into it.
Make children wear full sleeves clothes and long pants to protect the sensitive skin of the child.
Apply oil or cream all over the body to prevent the colours from sticking on the skin. Oil the child’s hair before she goes down to play Holi.
Safe Baby recommends that parents have a list of emergency contact numbers ready. This list should include phone numbers of your pediatrician, closest hospital and ambulance. This list should be saved on your mobile phones or kept in a place where it can be found easily.
Have a safe Holi.

Female Heroines For Our Girls!

Dear Friends,

This Week I have a guest blogger Vandana Mohal Dewan. As a parent and as a professional she is passionate about removing Gender Bias in our parenting and teaching.

Female Heroines For Our Girls!

By Vandana Mohal Dewan

Amongst the many ways I can introduce myself, one of the happiest and also one of the proudest way I do so is when I say I am a mother of two absolutely gorgeous kids. Of course this is a mother’s pride speaking!

My son Arjun is 11 and daughter Maahi is a 4 year old. Apart from the obvious difference of gender, the two are as different, to use a cliché, as chalk and cheese. While sonny boy is gentle, sweet, adjusting, easy going, sporty, deep thinking, empathetic, emotional, just and adjusting; Maahi on the other hand is head strong, competitive, loving, strong, hardy, feisty and fearless. I, obviously, love both of them, although honestly Maahi due to her head strong nature, does drive me up the wall leading me to do Google searches about at what age I can put her in Military school, so that they can make her more malleable, or make a competent soldier out of her since all her traits are complementary to what a good military officer is expected to have!

Having said that I feel extremely happy that my daughter is the way she is. I want her to be a tough kid, because unfortunately she has inherited a world where females have to be quite tough to survive and hold their own. They have no other option but to excel and beat the boys at everything, to be able to get an equal place in this world.

But, I wonder sometimes how will my daughter and other girls really achieve this. I say this because when I look around, I see a complete dearth of female role models. What I see on the idiot-box, I think a very apt definition of the TV, are soaps that have pretty, decked up women, plotting revenge on someone, while shedding onion-cutting-induced tears amongst the assortment of the colourful pots and pans in the well-lit kitchen. They do all this while being subservient to their male partners, observing fasts and pandering to all their whims. Equality of gender just does not figure in the soap-world. This of course is the Hindi telly; the Western soaps are too risky; the content is too sexualised for young kids! Movies too portray women as mere showpieces, with a few exceptions like a Mary Kom or a Queen.

Now if I look at animation films or even cartoons, again equality isn’t what I see. I see a pink-clad Minnie Mouse preening and blinking her heavily mascaraed eyes at Micky. The clubhouse is called Mickey Mouse clubhouse. So a boy is a hero. I look at Chota Bheem, where Chutki, once again clad in the ubiquitous pink and her beauty enhanced by some dark long eye lashes and pink lips, plays second fiddle to the male lead. Examine the hugely popular Harry Potter or Percy Jackson; the title itself conveys who is the lead and what is his gender. If we see Harry Potter, he is the hero, while Hermione Granger, despite being the sharpest “witch” still plays second fiddle to Potter and is the girlfriend of Ronald Weasley, a good-at-heart, yet a bumbling average bloke. Why on earth will someone like a Hermione fall for Ron, is beyond my comprehension?

If we look at fairy tales, most have a very strong theme of the damsel in distress waiting for her knight in shining armour to come rescue her so that she can finally live a happy life – Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel, Cinderella, Snow-white etc. Where female are the protagonists they aren’t positive, Goldilocks is a thief!

Look at how education is imparted to kids. When we teach children grammar somehow or the other, gender roles are clearly etched out and they do take root in the child’s mind. “My mother is cooking, My father is going to the office.” The father is always the tough guy, the most important person in the family while the mother is, well secondary.

Call it political correctness or adjusted gender–role representation, the two forces in our children’s lives -- their Mum and their Dad -- need to be seen playing more complementary roles. No one is better than the other, but the two combine to make a safe, secure and loving environment. Of course, here the dads can also pitch in playing the role of an equal partner, but well that's a topic for another article!

And this adjustment is required globally, not just India. Facebook’s COO Sheryl Sandberg in her book ‘Lean In’ captures some very touching aspects of this girl vs. boys or women vs. men roles as society sees them and as they exhibit socially. She makes an observation that when a little boy is aggressive, we say he knows his mind, but if a girl does so she is called pushy. And when they grow up, the same two people will be judged differently, the man will be called successful and knowing his mind, the woman “a bit political”, “too aggressive” or worse “not a team player”. The book is peppered with many such examples and the interesting thing the book throws up is that we women only a lot of times hold ourselves back and do not make enough efforts to realise our true potential and that's why we need to ‘Lean In’. This link captures more of these points http://ideas.time.com/2013/03/07/why-i-want-women-to-lean-in/

Females/young girls need to feel empowered. They are in desperate need to have their own “heroines”. While its alright that they see themselves as pretty princesses, just like my baby girl does, they should, however, not have a mental picture of themselves as that imprisoned princess, who needs to be rescued by a knight. They should mentally feel liberated and not bound. And if they do feel imprisoned, when they imagine a knight doing the rescuing act, they should be able to have a choice of the knight’s gender in their mindscape!

Children, particularly young girls, need to have more of Mary Koms as the HERO! I feel authors, particularly those who write for young children, and educators in general should attempt to show a balanced picture to all kids. We can possibly start by digging out stories of our own heroines, Rani Laxmibai, Razia Sultan, Laxmi Sahgal, Kalpana Chawla, Sunita Williams or even corporate honchos, singers, sportswomen, military officers someone like Wing Commander Pooja Thakur!

All humans begin making visual connects very early in life and if we are able to cast such strong female characters in popular literature, cinema and other art forms both boys and girls will picture the quality called heroism from a gender-neutral prism! And that possibly will a step in the direction of a more equal world for both our girls and boys!